


Terminated.....or Not?

by PrinceofDarkness15



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: CEO Kylo Ren, Consensual Sex, Dark Past, Death, Devoted Kylo Ren, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Falling In Love, Flirting, Kylo was married before, Love Confessions, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mutual Pining, Office Sex, Oral Sex, Protective Kylo Ren, Rey is 29, Sexual Tension, Tagging as I go, Touch-Starved, Triggers, Unplanned Pregnancy, kylo is 35
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:21:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 45,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29052051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceofDarkness15/pseuds/PrinceofDarkness15
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 35
Kudos: 97





	1. Chapter 1

_Oh, dear God, I feel worse than crap._

I lifted my head from the pillow and winced. This is why I rarely drank. A belligerent hangover and a 3:30 a.m. wakeup time don't make for good bedfellows. Reaching over toward the annoying buzzing sound, I patted around my nightstand until I somehow managed to find my phone and silence the alarm. Ten minutes later, the sound returned. I groaned as I dragged my body out of the comfort of my bed and headed to the kitchen for some much-needed coffee and Advil. 

I'd probably need to ice my eyes, too, in order to look at least halfway presentable on air this morning. I was mid-pour, steaming coffee filling my mug, when suddenly the reason for last night's inebriation and my resulting hangover hit me. How the hell could I have forgotten?

_The letter. The damn letter._

"Ouch! Oh shit!" Hot coffee spilled over the top of the mug and scalded my hand. "Shit! Ouch! Shit! Shit! Shit!"

I quickly ran my hand under cold water and shut my eyes. What the hell had I done? I just wanted to crawl back into bed and go back to forgetting the whole thing. But instead, all the details from yesterday came flooding back to me like a tsunami tidal-wave. An hour after I'd wheeled my luggage through the front door, returning from a week in paradise, a letter had arrived via messenger.

 _Fired._ In a form of a letter. The day before I was scheduled to return to work from a much-needed vacation.

I felt so nauseous. It was the first time I'd been unemployed since I was fourteen years old. Not to mention, the _only_ time my departure wasn't of my own accord. I turned off the water and hung my head, trying to recall the exact wording in that damn letter. 

_Dear Ms. Rey Kenobi,_

_We regret to inform you that your currently employment at First Order Industries has been terminated, effective immediately. Your employment has been terminated for the following reasons:_

_-Violation of Conduct Policy 3-4. Committing any acts at which constitute sexual assault or indecent exposure._

_-Violation of Conduct Policy 3-6. Using the Internet and/or other forms of communication media to engage in sexual conduct or lewd behavior._

_-Violation of Conduct Policy 3-7. Engaging in other forms of sexually immoral or objectionable conduct._

_Severance pay shall not be paid because your termination was for cause. Within thirty days, we will issue you a letter to you outlining the status of your benefits. Insurance coverage will continue for the time required by New York State employment law._

_The personnel office will coordinate your final paycheck and work with your supervisor on the collection of your personal items. We regret this action and wish you the best of luck in your endeavors._

_Sincerely,_

_Gwendoline Angela-Davis Phasma_

_Director of Human Resources._

There had been a thumb drive included in the padded envelope, which contained a thirty-second video of one of my friends had taken on the beach. I felt a burn traveling up my throat, for reasons other than the likely alcohol poisoning I'd subjected my body to. _My fucking job._ It had been my life for the past nine years. And some stupid, grainy video had made everything I'd worked my ass off for vanish like a puff of smoke. 

_Poof. Goodbye, career._

I groaned. "God. What the hell am I going to do now?"

Standing upright clearly wasn't the answer to that question, so I took my pounding headache back to the bedroom and crawled under the covers. I pulled the comforter up and over my head, hoping the pitch black might swallow me alive.

Eventually, I managed to fall back asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I felt better, but only slightly. Though, that didn't last for very long---not once I realized I'd only remembered _half_ the events of last night. 

~*****~

My roommate and best friend, Rose, poured me a cup of coffee and heated it up in the microwave. She looked pretty hungover herself. 

"So, how'd you sleep?" she asked.

Elbows propped on the kitchen table, I held my head upright in my hands---well, sort of. I looked at her through one squinted eyes. "How you think I slept?"

She sighed. "I still can't get over the fact that they fired you. You have a contract. Is it even legal to sack someone for something that happened when they weren't even at work?"

I sipped my coffee. "Apparently so. I spoke to Cal about it a few minutes ago." 

I'd sucked up my pride and called my ex. He was an asshole, and the last person that I wanted to talk to, but he was also the only lawyer in my contacts as well. Unfortunately, he'd confirmed that what my employer did was perfectly one-hundred-and-ten-perfect legal. 

"I'm so sorry, Rey. I had no idea a day at the beach could turn into something like this. It's all my fault. I was the one who suggested we go to the topless section."

"No, Rose. It's not your fault."

"What the hell was Kaydel even thinking, posting it on Instagram and tagging all of us in the video like that?"

"I'm thinking it was the pina-coladas we drank that, that cute cabana boy was serving with us an extra shot of rum had her not thinking at all. But I don't understand how my job even knew about it in the first place. She tagged my private account---the Rey Kenobi one---not my public Rey Kenobi account the station runs for me. Or used to run, I suppose. So how did they even see it? I double-checked my settings this morning to make sure that I didn't somehow changed them to open--and I hadn't." 

"I don't know. Maybe someone from your job follows one of us who has a public account."

I shook my head. "I guess."

"Did the asshole respond to your email, at least?"

I furrowed my brow. "What email?"

"You seriously don't remember?"

"Apparently not."

"The one you sent to the president of your company, _that_ email."

My eyes widened. _Oh shit!_ Things just keep getting better and better by the minute, don't they? I've never wanted to hurl myself off the top-floor of my building than I did in that moment. _Dear, God, how could I have been so fucking stupid?_

~*****~

Apparently rock bottom has a basement. Fired. No severance pay.

One week after I paid the second and biggest payment required on the construction contract for my first home. The likelihood of getting a good recommendation from my current employer? _Zip_ after I went on a drunken rampage and told the guy who works in the ivory tower what I thought of him and his company. 

_Awesome. Just...fucking...awesome. Great job, Kenobi!_

Between plunking down most of my life savings for the down payment on the land I bought in upstate New York, and being a big shot and covering the entire bachelorette part's alcohol tab for a full week in the Caribbean's, I had about a thousand dollars to my name. Not to mention, soon my roommate would be getting married and moving out, taking half the rent she paid each month with her.

_But....don't worry, Kenobi. You'll get another job._

When hell freezes over. The news media industry was about as forgiving as my bank account after a six-hour day at the mall. _I was so fucking screwed. So screwed._

I'd have to go back to independent contract work, writing magazine articles for pennies per word to make ends meet. That part of my life was supposed to be over. I'd _killed myself-_ \--working sixty-hours a week for nearly ten years to get to where I was now. I couldn't walk away from that without a fight. 

I had to at least attempt to salvage things---enough to get a recommendation that wasn't scathing. So I took a deep breath, pulled up my big-girl panties, and opened my laptop to refresh my memory on the specifics of what I'd written to the president of First Order Industries, since more than half of it was fuzzy. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I had thought. I clicked into my sent box and opened the message.

_Dear, Mr. Totally-UN-Fuckable,_

I immediately shut my eyes. Well, there goes that wishful thought. But maybe he won't get my dry sense of humor; he'll just think that I got his name wrong. That's possible, right? I reluctantly went back to reading while holding my breath.

_I'd like to formally apologize for my minor indiscretion._

Okay...that's not a bad start. This is good. This is really good, actually. If only I'd stopped reading there.

_You see, I hadn't realized that I worked for a dictator._

Ugh, it just keeps getting worse and worse. _God, I'm such an asshole when I drink too much._ I blew out a loud stream of shaky breath and ripped the Band-Aid off. 

_I was under the impression that I had the right to do what I pleased while on my own time. Unlike your silver-spoon fed ass, I work hard. Therefore, I deserve to blow off some steam ever once in a while. If that entails getting a little sun on my ta-tas while on a girls-only private vacation, then that's what I'll do. I wasn't breaking any laws. It was a nude beach. There are plenty of them in the world if you'd actually go outside of your money-making box. I could have gone fully nude, but I just chose to go topless. If you've watched the "offending video," which your uptight human resources director saw fit to provide me on a thumb drive along with a bullshit termination letter, you should consider yourself lucky you even got a glimpse of them. You might even consider adding it to your spank-bank, you perv. I've spent more than nine years working my ass off for you and your stupid company. You can both go straight to hell._

_Bite me,_

_Rey Kenobi._

Okay. I had a bit of a steeper uphill battle to smooth things over than I'd hoped. But I couldn't let that deter me. Maybe _el-presidente_ hadn't even read my first email yet, and I could start my next attempt by asking him to ignore the original one. 

If I wanted any shot of finding a job within the industry, I couldn't have a bad recommendation. Since they'd violated my privacy, the least they could do was be netural about it. I broke out in a panicky sweat and chewed on my fingernail. I wasn't above begging. So I copied and pasted the president's email address and opened a new message. Time was of the essence here. But just as I started to type, my laptop pinged, letting me know that a new email had arrived.

I clicked on it, and my heart nearly stopped as I read the email address: **Ren. CEO@FirstOrderIndustries.com.**

_Oh....my....fucking...God. No. No. No._

_Dear Ms. Rey Kenobi,_

_Thank you so much for your email....which this silver-spoon-fed and totally **un** -fuckable as you called me, read at two o'clock in the morning, because I was still at the office working. From the tone of your letter--one littered with grammatical errors from a woman with a journalism degree---I'm assuming you wrote it while still drunk. If that's the case, at least you no longer need to get up in the morning to come to work. You're welcome. _

_For your information, I have not viewed the video you referred to. But if my spank-bank ever runs a little low, perhaps I'll dig it out of my trash folder---along with the standard letter of recommendation that your superior had planned to give you._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Richie Rich._

I let out the breath that I'd been holding in for what seemed like forever now. _Oh fuck my life. I'm so done for._


	2. Chapter 2

"Mr. Ren, would you like me to order you some lunch? Your two o'clock just called and is running a half hour later, so you have a little break until your next meeting."

"Why can't people ever be on damn time?" I grumbled and pushed the button to the intercom to speak to my assistant. "Can you please order me Boar's Head turkey and Alpine lacy swiss on a whole wheat? And tell them one slice of swiss cheese. The last time we ordered from the deli, the guy who made my sandwich must've been from Wisconsin." 

"Yes, Mr. Ren."

I opened my laptop to catch up on my emails since my back-to-back meetings had turned into back-to-wait yet again. Scanning for anything important, my eyes stopped on one particular name in my inbox: _Rey Kenobi._

The woman was obviously a drunk, or nots, possibly even both. Though her email had been more amusing than half the mundane shit waiting for me. So I clicked.

_Dear Mr. Ren,_

_Would you believe that my email was hacked and someone else wrote that ridiculous letter? I'm guessing probably not. Considering how well educated, intelligent, hardworking, and successful you are. Am I pouring on too thick? Sorry. But I have a lot of shoveling to do. Is there any chance that we can start over?_

_You see, contrary to what you probably think about me, I don't drink that often. Which is why when a very unexpected termination letter showed up at my door, it didn't take much to bury my sorrow. And apparently my sanity. Anyway, if you're still reading, thank you. Here's the letter I should've written to you instead:_

_Dear Mr. Ren,_

_I'm writing this to request your assistance in what I believe was a wrongful termination of my employment. As background, I've been a dedicated employee of First Order Industries for one and a half years. I started as an intern, received promotions through various news-writing positions, and eventually reached my goal of on-air reporter. Recently, I went on a very much-needed vacation to Aruba with eight women for a bachelorette party. Our hotel had a privation section of the beach that was reserved for nude sunbathing. Though not generally an exhibitionist, I joined my friends for a few hours of topless tanning._

_A few innocent photos were taken, none of which were posted by me, and my on-air name was not tagged. Yet somehow, I returned home to a letter of termination for violating company policy regarding lewd behavior. While I understand the reason for having an inappropriate-behavior policy, I adamantly believe that my conduct while on a private vacation, on a private beach, was not what it was meant to protect First Order Industries from._

_As such, I respectfully request that you view the policy over again and the termination of my employment. Thank you for your time._

_Respectfully yours,_

_Rey Kenobi._

_Kenobi_. Why do I know that name? It had sounded so familiar when the first emailed arrived, so I'd looked her up in the company directory. But she was in the news division, which my sister ran and I'd avoided like the plague since I took over as president when my dad died eighteen months ago. Politics, propaganda, and bureaucracy weren't exactly my thing. 

Though I was president in a name, I generally stuck to the financial side of First Order Industries. I dug out the first email that I'd ever received from Ms. Kenobi and re-read it. While the newest one was certainly more appropriate, the first one had amused me more.

She'd signed the letter with the closing, _Bite me_...which had actually made me chuckle. No one talked to me like that. Oddly, I found it a bit refreshing to be perfectly honest. I had the strangest urge to have a conversation with Ms. Kenobi after a few drinks. She'd certainly piqued my curiosity. I pressed the button of the intercom on my phone again. 

"Jannah, could you call down to the Broadcast Media division---the morning news segment producer? I think it might be Poe Dameron or Finn Anderson....Dameron Poe....something along those lines."

"Of course, sir. Would you like me to set up a meeting for you?"

"No. Tell him that I'd like to see the personnel file for one of his employees---Rey Kenobi. Her stage name is Rey Jakku."

"I'll get it taken care of, sir."

"Thank you."

My afternoon meeting only lasted about fifteen minutes or so. Not only did the guy show up an hour and a half late, he was so completely unprepared. I had no patience for people who didn't value my time, so I'd called it quits and walked out of the conference room after telling him to lose my number.

"Is everything okay, sir?" Jannah looked up at me as I strode past her desk. "Do you need something from your office for your meeting?"

"My meeting is over. Hang up on anyone who calls from Hoth Investments, if they should ever try to call again."

"Uh...yes, Mr. Ren." Jannah got up and followed me into my office, holding a notepad. "Your mother called again. She said to tell you she doesn't need a security system and she sent the installer home."

I rounded my desk and shook my head. "Great. Just great. Thanks, mom."

"I also retrieved Ms. Kenobi's file for you and printed it out. It's on your desk in a folder. There's also a video of some sort that was one file in Human Resources, which I've emailed to you."

"Thank you, Jannah." I sat down at my desk. "Would you mind closing the door in your way out, please, and again thank you?" 

~*****~

 _Jesus Christ!_ Now I remembered her. It was a long time ago, but her story wasn't one that you'd forget too easily. Back when Rey Kenobi was hired, my father, Han Solo was still running things around here. I'd been sitting in his office when Jannah brought him the file on her. He'd used her story as a teaching example---an example of decisions you sometimes have to make to protect the company image.

I leaned back in my chair. Every employee gets a background check---the extensiveness of it depends on the position. the more visibility someone has, the more their name and face can affect the brand of the company, so the deeper we delve. 

Human Resources and an outside investigation company usually do the vetting. When a person comes back clean, a manager does the fire with a signoff from the division's director. For the most part, senior management isn't usually involved---that is---unless someone poses a possible threat to our name and a department head still wans to make an offer. Then the file gets sent up the flagpole. 

_Rey Kenobi._ I rubbed at the stubble already forming on my chin. Her first name was a bit unusual, so that was probably what rang a bell. Though I blocked out a lot of shit from ten years ago. 

I flipped through the pages of her personnel file---her background summary was barely even a page long. Yet the file had to be at least two inches thick. St. Andrew's undergraduate with a major in communications and minor in English. Then she moved to the U.S. and got a degree at Berkeley Graduate School of Journalism with a postgraduate fellowship in investigative reporting. Not too shabby for a girl from across the pond.

Never been arrested, and only one parking ticket. We'd done an update to her background eighteen months ago, when she'd gotten the position she was in now. It seemed she was even dating a lawyer. All in all, her investigation was unremarkable---she was an ideal employee and an understanding citizen.

But her father was a different story.....

The next fifty pages were mostly about him. He'd been some sort of low-level security guard in an apartment complex in London---though it was the time after his departure that as the focus of all the news articles. 

Flipping through, I scanned the pages, letting them fan slowly one at a time until I got to one with a photo of a little girl in it. When I lifted it closer, the name in the caption confirmed that it was Rey. She had to be about nine or ten in the picture. For some reason, I stared at it like a bad car accident.

She was crying, and a female police officer had a hand wrapped around her shoulder as they walked out of her house. _Good for you._ Good for you, Rey---getting where you are today after that horrible start. As fucked up as it was, I smiled down at the picture. Things could have very easily gone the other way for her.

It made sense that she'd written me a second time now---she was a fighter. I hit the intercom on my desk, and Jannah answered.

"Yes, Mr. Ren."

"Would you get me some recent segments of the morning news with Ms. Kenobi? She's Rey Jakku on air. Have them email up a link from the archives."

"Of course, sir." 

~*****~

I might've paid more attention to the Broadcast Media division if I'd known it looked like this. Or I could have at least watched the morning news. 

Rey Kenobi was a _damn_ knockout---big hazel eyes, dark brown hair, full lips, white teeth that showed often because she smiled a lot. She reminded me of a younger version of that tall actress from that last Star Wars movie. I watched three full segments before clicking back to the email Jannah sent me earlier---the one from Rey's HR file.

Three sets of tits immediately greeted me when the video file opened. I pulled my head back. Definitely not the news. The women were on the beach, wearing nothing but skimpy bikini bottoms and sipping on drinks from coconuts with a straw. I forced my eyes up to examine their faces---none of them was Rey. But a few seconds before the end of the short video, a woman walked up from the beach. 

Her hair was slicked back from the water and looked even darker wet, but the smile was unmistakably Rey's. With the other women, I'd noticed their bodies first and their bodies only, yet it took me until the vide ended and froze on Rey to even look down---and it wasn't because her body wasn't impressive or anything.

Her breasts were full and natural. They went with the rest of her luscious curves. But it was the curve of her smile that made me feel like I should suit up in armor. There could be no denying---Rey Kenobi was fucking beautiful.

Any man who'd deny it was out of the goddamned mind. I might be a pent-up asshole at the best of times but I know a beautiful woman when I see one and Rey Kenobi is no exception. I almost felt slightly jealous of her lawyer-boyfriend.

What a show he must get? Damn it, now I really am feeling slightly duped. I find myself wishing that I could get a little bit of the action myself. 

I shifted in my seat and toggled to the X at the corner of the video to close it. Though she'd suggested I add it to my spank-bank, I wasn't going to be disrespectful. Now, if she'd sent me the video herself, that might be a different story altogether. 

But I certainly wasn't going to work up a stiffy in my office replaying the video a dozen times---no matter how tempted the asshole part of me was. I turned in my chair to look out the window. _Rey Kenobi, you seem like a real handful._ A woman I should steer clear of, that was for damn sure.

Yet I felt compelled to learn even more about her. For a few minutes, I debated digging even further, maybe listening to more of her side of the story. But why would I be doing that?

Because I was curious about Rey Kenobi, that's why. Though it was because I wanted ensure fairness at my company? Or was it because she had a mesmerizing smile to die for, a killer rack, and a fucked-up history that made me curious about her?

After a few minutes of deliberating, I already knew the answer.

Every warning sensor in my brain told me to delete the emails and run the personnel file through the shredder. That was the smart thing for me to do....definitely the right business decision for someone like me, the president to make. Yet....

I hit the space bar to power my laptop up and opened up a new email.

_Dear Ms. Kenobi,_

_After further review....._


	3. Chapter 3

_Poe Dameron is such an asshole._

Though I loved my job, my boss was the one thing I certainly wouldn't miss. The man was a dirt bag. He hadn't been a fan of mine almost from the very beginning, ever since I'd found out he fired my male counterpart---who had less experience than me and less time with the company---with a salary of twenty grand more than mine. I'd brought it to his attention in a professional manner, and he'd proceeded to explain to me that there were pros and cons to every employee and every position.

He'd said that I shouldn't worry, that I'd see benefits Armitage Hux didn't have someday soon---like when I took advantage of the great _maternity leave_ policy the company had. 

I'd filed a formal complaint about my salary with Human Resources and gotten equivalent pay. But there was no going back from what Poe Dameron considered treason on my part. We'd found a way to work together without too much friction---mostly by avoidance, though his email today proved once again what a colossal jerk he was.

And something in my gut made me think he'd had a hand in the station getting ahold of that topless beach video. Lord knows the man wanted to give my job to Zorri Blizz. bad enough.

Side note, Zorri is her real name, not her stage name. What were her parents even thinking? Anyway....

Poe Dameron, a thirty-four year-old, flirtatious-flirt, who smelled like old-spice, wasn't exactly the brightest bulb in the bunch when it came to women. I bet he thought he had a chance with Zorri---the thirty-two year old former Miss Seattle runner-up---just because she batted her eye-lashes at him.

I bet he also thought I would follow the directions in his email too. 

_Dear Ms. Kenobi_

_In light of the unfortunate events and your recent departure from Broadcast Media, I have scheduled you to visit the office at 10 a.m. on Thursday, June 29th to collect your belongings. I trust you will conduct yourself professionally during your visit. As your employee identification and building card have been deactivated you will need to check in at the security desk._

_Regards,_

_P. Dameron_

Seriously? I wanted to crawl through my laptop and strangle the man to death. It made me cringe to think that he might've viewed the "unfortunate events." He probably jerked off while watching the twenty-two-second glimpse of topless women, right before walking over to Zorri and offering her my job. 

God, the one good thing about getting fired was that I'd finally get to tell that man what I thought about him on Thursday. Although, I wouldn't put it past the wimp to be MIA when I came to "collect my belongings." I sighed and hit the trashcan icon to get rid of Poe once and for all. But just as I was about to close my laptop, I saw another new email waiting for me.

This one from Kylo Ren. Curious, I immediately clicked to open.

_Dear Miss Jakku,_

_After further review of your file. I've determined the decision to terminate your employment was warranted. However, I'll reach out to your immediate supervisor and suggest he provide you with a neutral letter of recommendation based on your performance._

_Sincerely,_

_Kylo Ren._

Great, just great---leave it up to Poe to give me something neutral. I probably should have just shut my laptop and cooled off. But the last forty-eight hours had brought me to a boiling point. So I typed back, not even bothering with the formality of a greeting or anything.

_Great. Poe Dameron hates women almost as much as he hates foot taping. Oh...unless he thinks he has a chance to bang you---like he does my replacement. Thanks for nothing._

~*****~

Two days later, on Thursday morning, I was no less bitter when I arrived at the office. I was, however, almost forty-five minutes later early since I had no idea how long it took to get to the office during rush-hour traffic. The roads were usually always empty when I left for work at four-thirty in the morning. Since I wouldn't put it past Dameron not to allow me in early, I decided to go next door to the coffee shop.

It would give me a chance to mentally prepare for cleaning out my desk, and dealing with him, too. I ordered a decaf, since my nerves were shot already, and went to sit at a corner table.

Whenever I was feeling stressed, I watched Instagram vide clips from the _Ellen_ show. They always cracked me up, and that, in turn, helped me relax. I clicked on a funny clip where Billie Eilish scared Melissa McCarthy and I laughed out loud. Looking up from my phone when it ended, I was caught off guard to find a man standing next to me.

"Do you mind if I share your table?"

I looked him up and down. Tall, gorgeous, expensive suit....probably not a serial killer. Then again, my ex always had perfectly tailored suits, too. 

I squinted. "Why?"

The man looked to his left and then to his right. When his chocolate-brown eyes returned to meet mine, I thought I detected the slightest twitch at the left corner of his lip.

"Maybe because all of the other seats are taken." 

I quickly surveyed the room. _Oh. Shit._ They were all taken now. Lifting my purse off the table, I nodded. "Sorry, I didn't even realize the place had filled up. I thought...well, never mind. Please, help yourself."

That lip of his made the slightest twitch again. Did he have a tie, or was I amusing him?

"I said _excuse me,_ but you didn't seem to hear me. You were too engrossed in whatever it is that you were doing."

"Oh. Yeah. Lots of work. Busy, busy." I clicked to close YouTube and opened up my email.

The handsome guy unbuttoned his suit jacket and sat down in the seat across from me. He lifted his coffee to his lips. "The one with Will is my personal favorite." 

My brows furrowed. He smirked, casually in my direction. It was so....so sexy.

"Smith. On _Ellen_. I couldn't help but notice what you were watching. You were smiling. You have very beautiful smile, by the way."

I felt my cheeks heat up, but not because of the compliment. I rolled my eyes. "So I lied. I wasn't working. You didn't have to call me out on it, though."

His little smirk turned into a full-blown grin, yet there was still something very cock about it. "Did anyone ever tell you that you have an arrogant smile?" I asked him. 

"No. But then again, I haven't seemed to use it too much in the last few years."

I tilted my head. "That's a shame."

His eyes roamed over my face. "So why did you lie about working?"

"Honestly?"

"Sure. Let's try that route."

I sighed. "It was a gut reaction. I just recently lost my job, and I don't know...I guess I felt like a loser sitting here watching _Ellen_ clips."

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a newscaster for First Order Industries---or at least I was until a few days ago. I did the early-morning segment."

Mr. Doesn't Smile Often didn't respond the way most people did when I told them I was on TV. They usually raised their brows and had a million questions. But it sounded way more glamorous than it really was. Yet the man across the table didn't seem all that impressed. Or if he was, he didn't show it. Which I found oddly curious. 

"And what do you do that you wear a fancy suit and yet can sit in a coffee shop so leisurely at...." I looked at the time on my phone. "...nine forty-five in the morning?"

That little twitch was back. He seemed to like my dry-sarcasm. Very few people did which I found surprising. 

"I'm the CEO of a company."

"Impressive."

"Not really. It's a family business. So it's not like I started at the bottom."

"Nepotism." I sipped my coffee. "You're right. I'm a lot less impressed now."

He smiled again. If what he'd said about not doing it often was really true, it was a damn shame...because those full lips and that cocky smile could melt hearts and wink poker games. 

"So tell me about getting fired," he said. "That is, if you don't have to get back to all that work you were doing on your phone."

I chuckled. "It's a long story. But I did something I thought was really harmless, and it turned out to be in violation of the company's policy."

"And you're an otherwise good employee?"

"Yes, I worked my butt off for more than nine years to get where I was."

He studied me and sipped his coffee some more. "Have you tried talking to your boss about this?"

"My boss has wanted me gone for years--ever since I complained that he hired my male counterpart for more money than I was being paid." Which reminded me, I needed to get to the office to see that asshole boss. "I really should get going, Said boss is waiting for me to clean out my desk."

Mr. CEO rubbed his chin. "Would you mind if I offered you a little sound advice? I've dealt with a lot of employment issues."

"Sure." I shrugged. "Can't hurt."

"Retaliation for reporting an illegal gender pay gap is illegal. I suggest you make an appointment the Human Resources department and lay out your support for that claim. Sounds to me like there should be an investigation, and your boss might be the one who should be in here watching all those _Ellen_ videos."

Huh. Cal hadn't mentioned that retaliation was illegal when I'd told him what happened. But that didn't really surprise me. He was too busy lecturing me for being topless on the beach. 

I stood. "Thank you. Maybe I'll do that."

The handsome man rose from his chair. He stared at me, almost looking like he wanted to say more, but had to deliberate over his words. I waited until I got awkward. 

"Um....it was nice meeting you," I said. 

He nodded. "Likewise." I started to walk away, and he stopped me by speaking again. "Would you.....want to have lunch later? You can't very well give me the excuse that you're too busy now that I know you're unemployed."

I smiled. "Thanks. But I don't think so." 

Mr. CEO nodded and sat back down. I walked out of the coffee shop, not quite sure why I'd said no. Of course there was _stranger danger_ and all. But meeting him for lunch in a public place wouldn't be any more dangerous than going out with a guy I met at a bar. And I'd done that before. If I were being honest, something about the guy intimidated me---not unlike how I'd felt when Cal and I first got together.

He was just too good-looking and too successful and, well, I guess I felt gun-shy about the type. 

The guy made a face and walked around me. I rushed back to the coffee shop and opened the door. The CEO was standing and picked up his cup like he was about to leave. "Hey, Mr. CEO, you're not a serial killer, right?"

His brows jumped. "No. Not a serial killer."

"Okay. Then I changed my mind. I'll have lunch with you."

"Well, now I'm really glad I didn't go on that rampage after all."

I chuckled and dug into my purse for my phone. "Here, put your number in. I'll text you my contact info."

He typed into my cell, and I immediately sent him my contact information. When his phone buzzed in his hand, he looked down. "Rey. Beautiful name. Fitting."

I looked down at my own phone, but he hadn't entered a name. "CEO? So you're not going to tell me your name?"

"I figured I'd keep you curious until lunch."

"Hmmm...okay. But I'm guessing you have some sort of uppity CEO name that gets passed down, along with a trust fund."

He chuckled. "I'm glad I stopped in for coffee today."

I smiled. "Me too. I'll text you later about lunch."

He nodded. "I'm certainly looking forward to it, Rey." 

I left the coffee shop and headed for the office in a much better mood than I'd started with. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all....

~*****~

"Seriously? You couldn't even have her wait until I'd cleaned out my desk?"

Our office space was a large, open square with cubicles in the middle and private, fishbowl-type glass offices lining the perimeter. Security had escorted me to Dameron's office like I was a prisoner, and now I could see Zorri on the other side of the large space, moving boxes from her cubicle into my office.

Dameron yanked on his belt buckle and pulled his pants from beneath his beer-belly to up and over it. "Don't cause a scene, or I'll pack up your crap for you myself."

I scowled and began to tap my foot as I spoke. "I hope you at least gave her pay parity with a male of the same education and experience. Oh wait....that might be hard since a man with her qualifications works in the mail room still."

He pushed a few buttons on his phone and looked across at my office as he spoke on the speakerphone. "Rey is here to clean out her office. You might want to give her some space and finish setting up your new office when she is done." 

"Yes, Mr. Dameron."

I rolled my eyes. _Yes, Mr. Dameron._ The asshole waved his hand, dismissing me to go do whatever I needed to do. 

"Don't take too long. We have things to do around here."

Disgusted, I turned to walk out of his office and then stopped and backed up. I hadn't decided if I was going to go to HR about him firing me for retaliation. I really didn't have any proof---I couldn't show that Dameron was the one who'd surfaced the video that was my reason for being fired. And I knew that threatening wouldn't bother him at all. Still, I needed to make him feel like pure shit, so I could at least feel better. 

I then stepped back into his office and quietly closed the door behind me, turning to say one last thing to the bastard. 

"You've been looking for a reason to fire me for years, Dameron. But it's kind of hard to justify when I've been a model employee, and our ratings have gone up consistently since I joined the show. Finally you found a reason. I don't know how you did it, but I know that you were behind Human Resources getting ahold of that video. Tell me, did you keep a copy of it for yourself? I really hope you did, because that'll be the only piece of ass you'll ever see from this office. You certainly won't be seeing any skin from the unqualified, barely-out-of-high-school girl you gave my job to. What? You _think_ that will make her like you, but she's too busy banging that new intern from the advertising department. Oh, and remember Amylin Holdo---the divorced, middle-aged tempt you got drunk at the office Christmas party a few years back? Then one you think no one knows you went home with?" I smiled and held up my pinky, waving it in the air. "Well, we _all_ know. Her nickname for you was Inchworm." 

I opened the door, took a deep breath, and headed over to clean out nine years worth of my life. Literally, three minutes later, Security was at my office door, and Dameron stood right behind them.

I put the last of my things from the top drawer into a box and glowered at him. "I'm not done yet."

"You've had long enough. We have work to do around here." 

I mumbled under my breath and opened the second drawer to continue packing. "God, you're such an asshole, Inchworm."

Apparently, I wasn't very good at mumbling. Dameron's face turned blood-red, and he pointed toward the exit. "Out! Get out!"

I yanked the second drawer off the track and unceremoniously dumped the contents into my box. Then I did the same thing for two others and tossed the empty drawers on to guest chairs on the other side of my desk. I grabbed the framed pictures that sat on my desk and my degree off the wall and jammed it all into the box.

The two uniformed security guards he'd summoned looked completely uncomfortable. 

I smiled at one sadly, "I'll leave so you don't have to deal with this insufferable jerk."

The guards followed me to the elevator bank and got into the car with me. Dameron at least had enough common sense to take a different elevator. Though when we stepped out on the lobby level, he exited the car right next to us. 

I shook my head and kept walking. "I think the two security guards are enough. You don't need to escort me, Dameron."

He kept his distance but followed behind, nonetheless. When I got to the main lobby area, there were a lot of people standing around. So I decided to go out with a bang. I stopped and turned around to face Dameron. Setting my heavy box down on the floor in front of me, I pointed my finger at him and began to shout at the top of my lungs. 

"This man here uses his position to try to take advantage of women! He just fired me and gave my job to some young girl because he thinks she might spread her legs and say thank you! I guess he isn't familiar with the #MeToo movement." 

Dameron rushed forward and grabbed my elbow, encircling his hand and gripping me firmly. I yanked it out of his hand.

"Don't _fucking_ touch me."

He took a few steps back when he realized that people were now watching and turned to scurry back to the elevator. I needed to get the hell out of here before Security called the actual cops. So I took a deep breath, cleansing breath, lifted my box back up, and held my chin high as I marched toward the glass doors.

Only....a man was walking directly in my path, heading right toward me with rapid, long strides. My steps faltered as I took in his face. _His very pissed-off face._

"Keep your damn hands to yourself," he barked over my shoulder at Dameron. 

_Mr. CEO. Great. Just great._ The fist guy I'd met in months that I was actually a little interested in, and he had to walk into my building just as I was making a scene had acting like a crazy person. The time couldn't have been worse.

Then again, it went with the rest of my shitty day. The stress of the last few days must have gotten to me, and I cracked. I started laughing like a total nut-job. At first it was a burst of laughter, but it turned into a snort, followed by a belly laugh that made me sound like I'd lost my damn mind. I tired to cover my mouth and stop, but my words came out between hysterics. 

"Of course, I had to run into you here. I swear, I'm not really like this. It's just been a really bad few days." 

CEO continued to stare over my shoulder. The look on his face was positively lethal--jaw tight, muscles flexing in his cheek, and his nostrils flaring like a bull's. I turned to follow his line of sight and saw Dameron walking back toward us instead of away. 

I sighed, knowing the scene wasn't over yet, and shut my eyes. "I'll understand why you don't call me for lunch later."

The man's dark eyes flickered to me, then to Dameron, and then back to me once again. "Actually, I'd still love to take you out to lunch. But I'm guessing you're about to change you mind on when you find out why." 


	4. Chapter 4

"Mr. Ren, it's so good to see you."

Rey's head swung back and forth between Mr. Dameron and myself. If I'd had any doubt whether she'd known who I was in the coffee shop earlier, the confusion on her face now confirmed that she'd had absolutely no clue.

"Did he seriously just call you..."

Dameron appeared at Rey's side, and I glared at him. "Give us a moment, Dameron. I need to speak to Ms. Kenobi for a moment."

Rey's eyes lit up. "You son of a bitch! You knew who I was the entire time?!"

Dameron was still standing behind her like I hadn't just told him to fucking beat it. "Did you not understand what I just said?" I growled at him.

"Sorry, Mr. Ren. Of course. I'll go back up to my office. I'm on the eleventh floor if you need me, sir."

 _Yeah. I think you've done enough already._ I told the security guards to go back to their posts and went to take the box from Rey's hands. "Here, let me hold that."

She pulled it away from my reach. _"You're_ Kylo Ren?"

"I am."

"And you mean to tell me that you knew who I was at the coffee shop?"

I swallowed hard. "Yes. I did."

"God, I gave my number to a fucking liar! That's worse than a serial killer."

"I never lied to you, Rey." 

"Yes, but you neglected to even mention the fact that you're my boss's boss's boss." The box she held started to slip, and she almost fumbled it. "Oh God. Our emails! We've exchanged emails, and you didn't even think it was relevant to mention who you were when you knew who I was?!" 

"I honestly didn't even know who you were when I first walked over to take the empty seat. But I would've mentioned it at lunch...."

She shook her head. "Lunch? Screw you! Better yet, screw you and your whole damn company!"

Rey walked around me and stalked toward the door. "REY!" I called out after her.

She kept on walking. I probably needed my head examined, but watching her out Dameron and tell me off made my dick twitch. It was even better than the current view of her sexy ass as she tore out of my building. I smiled and shook my head. Maybe we were both a little nuts.

"So I'll call you about our lunch date later then?" I yelled after her.

She raised a hand without looking back and gave me the middle finger. I chuckled. My gut told me it wouldn't be the last time that I saw Rey, but for the moment, I had other pressing things to attend to. 

~*****~

"Mr. Ren, it's nice to see you. I'm so sorry you had to witness the unfortunate events in the lobby. We had a disgruntled terminated employee who wanted to make a scene."

A young woman popped her head into Dameron's office. She didn't immediately notice me since I was standing to the side of the doorway. "Can I go back into of office...." She spotted me and trailed off. "Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt. I didn't realize you weren't alone."

"It's fine," I said with a nod.

Dameron made the introductions. "Zorri, this is Kylo Ren. He's the President and CEO of the company that owns our little station."

"Oh. Wow," she said.

I extended my hand. "Nice to meet you."

Dameron puffed out his chest. "Zorii's been promoted to on-air reporter."

 _So this is the unqualified woman Rey was going off about, huh?_ Dameron told the woman she could continue moving into her new office, and I watched his eyes drop to her ass when she turned around. Once she was out of earshot, I confirmed my suspicion. 

"Is she Ms. Kenobi's replacement?"

The asshole looked proud. "Yes. She's a graduate of Yale and..."

I quickly cut him off. "How did you get a hold of Ms. Kenobi's vacation video?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do I need to speak more slowly for you so that you can understand me? How. Did. You. Get. Ms. Kenobi's. Vacation. Video? That good enough for you, Mr. Dameron?"

"I...uhhh...saw it on her social media."

I arched a brow. "On her public social media?"

"No, her private Instagram account."

"So you mean to tell me that you're friends on social media then? Since you can see things posted to her private accounts?"

"Yes. Well, it's not technically me. But I have access to an account she's friends with."

"Elaborate for me." I was starting to loose my patience with this man. 

"I have some social media set up in an old employee's name. A basic profile."

"So you're telling me that you're using someone else's name to stalk all of your employee's private social media?"

Dameron tugged at the knot of his tie. "No. Just the troublesome ones."

"The troublesome ones?"

"Yes."

He didn't even need to tell me one. Rey hadn't been exaggerating. This guy was really a nasty piece of work. And that wasn't something I needed or wanted with my company. Dameron had to go. 

I walked over to his desk, picked up the receiver to this phone, and pushed a few buttons. When the Security answered, "Yes, this is Kylo Ren. Can you please come up to the eleventh floor? I have a terminated employee you need to escort off the premises."

When I hung up, Dameron still didn't seem to get it. The intelligence of this man was baffling. How stupid could one man possibly be? Pretty stupid in this case, I suppose. I had heard all that I needed to know. 

"You're fired. You have until Security gets up here to clean out your desk, which I'm pretty sure is more than the amount of time you afforded Ms. Kenobi." 

The dumbass blinked a few times. "What?"

I leaned in and spoke slowly. "What part of _you're fired_ didn't you understand?"

Dameron said something---though I don't know what the hell it was, because I walked out of his office and went to the woman I assumed was his assistant based on where she now sat.

"Are you Dameron's assistant?"

The older woman looked nervous. "Yes, sir."

I looked down at the nameplate on her desk and extended my hand. I guess I really should've stopped by this building more often. Half the people didn't even know who the hell I even was. 

"Hi, Sarah. I'm Kylo Ren, the CEO of First Order Industries, which owns this station. I work in our other offices across the street. Mr. Dameron is no longer with the company. Don't worry about your job, though. It's safe."

"Okay...."

"Who covers for Dameron when he's on vacation?"

"Umm...well, Rey used to."

Great. "Well, then who is the most senior person besides Rey?"

"I guess that would be Finn Anderson."

"And where does he sit?" Sarah pointed to an office. "Thank you, Sarah. You have been most helpful."

I spoke with Finn Anderson and put her in charge, and then I watched as Security escorted a very flustered Poe Dameron out of the building. When I was done, I went back across the street. Jannah stood as I entered and followed me into my office, reading me a list of calls I'd missed and some other shit that went in one ear and out the other. I took off my jacket and rolled up my shirtsleeves.

"Can you please send an email to my sister to let her know that I fired Poe Dameron in Broadcast Media? Finn Anderson is going to hold the reins while things get sorted out over there."

"Umm....sure. Though the last time you _hired_ someone for Jyn's division, she wasn't exactly all that happy. She'll probably be in your office within ten minutes once I make the call." 

I sat down at my desk and blew out a deep breath. "Good point. I'll tell her myself. Ask Jyn if she can come across to my office to talk for a bit."

Jannah eyed me over her notepad. "She'd probably like it if you went to her for a change...."

Jannah was right. My sister definitely begrudged that she always had to come to me for something. "Good point, Jannah. Fine, tell her that I'll be coming over to talk to her in ten minutes."

"Is there anything else, sir?"

"Can you also send a messenger with an apology letter to Rey Kenobi? Tell her that I've reviewed the circumstances surrounding her termination and to be back at work by Monday morning."

Jannah scribbled in her notebook. "Okay. I'll get right on that for you, sir."

"Thank you." As she got to the door, I thought of something else. Something really, _really_ crazy and something I never would usually do. "Also, can you please add a dozen roses to go with the letter to Ms. Kenobi?"

Jannah's brows drew together, but she rarely ever questioned my judgement, and she'd already commented on how my sister was going to react. So she scribbled more in her notebook and simply said, "Will do, sir."

~*****~

The very next afternoon, Jannah walked into my office carrying a box of flowers. She looked nervous. My name was scribbled across the top of the box in red marker. "These came for you via messenger just now."

I opened the long, white box and unwrapped the tissue paper. Inside were a dozen blood-red roses, but all the heads had been cut off at the stems. A folded piece of stationery lay at the top. I picked it up and opened it:

_Keep the flowers. I'll need a fat raise if you want me to even think about coming back._

_-Rey._

I laughed out loud. Jannah looked at me like I was nuts or something. "Jannah, can you please call Ms. Kenobi? Tell her I don't negotiate via messenger. And set up a lunch meeting for today at La Piazza at one o'clock." 

~*****~

I looked down at my watch. If it were anyone else, I'd have waked out the door by now. Yet fifteen minutes later my scheduled lunch, I was still sitting at the table alone, drinking a glass of water, when Rey Kenobi walked in. She looked around the restaurant, and the hostess pointed to where I was seated. As she made her way toward me, she smiled. It caught me completely off guard when my heart started to pump faster. 

Unlike yesterday and in the clips I'd watched, today her hair was pulled back into a slick ponytail. It showcased her high cheekbones and full lips, focusing attention on just her face. Some women needed window dressing in the form of hair and makeup, but Rey was even more beautiful without all that shit.

She had on a royal blue silk shirt and pair of black slacks. The outfit was pretty conservative, yet she still managed to snag the eye of every man and woman as she made her way through the dining room. 

I stood and tried not to let her see how much her appearance had affected me. "You're late."

"I'm sorry. I was early, but when I walked out to my car, my tire was flat. I had to grab an Uber."

I extended my hand. "Please, sit."

Rey took her seat, and the waiter came right over. "May I get you something to drink, miss?"

I looked to Rey. She smirked and unfolded her napkin. "I don't usually drink during the day, but since I'm unemployed, not driving, and he's paying, I'll have a glass of merlot, please."

I tried to contain my smile. "I'll just have a sparkling water." I glanced at Rey. "Since I _am_ gainfully employed." 

The waiter disappeared, and Rey folded her hands in front of her on the table. Ordinarily, people deferred to me to lead the conversation, but this woman wasn't ordinary. 

"So," she said. "I spoke to my attorney, and he says I have a case against your company for harassment, breach of contract, and emotional distress."

I sat back in my chair. "Your attorney? And who might that be?"

"His name is Cal Kestis." 

I knew the name from her background investigation a few years back. He'd been her boyfriend at the time. I wondered if they were still together.

"I see. Well, I came to offer you your job back, with an apology and perhaps a small raise. But if you'd rather go through our attorney's, that's perfectly fine, too," I started to get up from my chair--calling her bluff.

She fell for it. "Actually, I'd rather not deal with attorneys. I was just simply letting you know what mine said."

I folded my arms across my chest. "Letting me know so that you can use it as leverage against me?"

She folded her arms across her chest, mimicking my stance. "Are you going to sit down so we can have a conversation or stomp out of here like a perpetual child?" 

The woman had giant balls; I had to give her that. If she only knew how her attitude made me want to take a peek between her legs and check for some. We stared at each other for a full sixty seconds, and then I caved and sat back down.

"All right, Ms. Kenobi. Let's put our cards on the table. What is it that you want?"

"I heard you fired Dameron. Is that true?"

"Yes and we went out as graceful and as flabbergasted as I thought he would. He never saw it coming." 

"Why?"

"Because I don't like the methods he used to monitor his employees."

"Good. Me either. Plus, he's a real dick."

My lip twitched. "Yes, there's that, too."

"So tell me, did you follow me to the coffee shop that day we met?"

"No, I did not. And for the record, I don't follow women or my employees around to keep an eye on them. I just happened to walk in to grab a cup of coffee. My phone had rung in the car, and the connection was bad and dropped the call. I needed to compose a text to the caller so that she wouldn't worry."

"Then why didn't you tell me who you were when you realized who I was?"

"I believe I already answered that question for you the other day. It was a coincidence that I sat down at your table. And then I realized....I was rather intrigued about what you might say."

The waiter brought her wine and my water, and Rey alternated between watching him and looking at me. 

"We'll need a few minutes," I said. "We haven't looked at the menus yet." Rey's eyes were on me again when the waiter disappeared. She seemed to be mulling something over. "Any other questions?"

She nodded. "Who was on the phone?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You said that you were on the phone while you were driving, and the call got dropped, and you didn't want the person to worry."

I sipped my water. "My mother, not that it's any of your business. Are we done with this whole interrogation scene now? Because I was considering putting the drunken emails you sent me behind us. But if you'd like to rehash every last interaction we've had, we can discuss those, too."

She squinted at me and drank some of her wine. "I want a twenty-percent raise, and consideration given to Maz Kanata for Dameron's position."

 _Interesting._ I scratched my chin. "One thing at a time. I'll give you ten percent." 

"Fifteen."

"Twelve and a half."

She smiled. "Seventeen."

I chuckled. "That's not the way this works. Once you go down in a negotiation you don't get to go back up if you're not liking the way things are going."

She frowned. "Who said?"

I shook my head. "I'll tell you what. I'll give you your fifteen, but for that, you'll also have to sign a release form, giving up your right to any potential lawsuit for anything Dameron might have done during his tenure."

She thought about it. "Okay, that seems fair. If I'm being honest, I wasn't going to sue you anyway. I think our society is litigious enough. Plus, I don't like dealing with lawyers."

"What about Cal Kestis?" 

" _Especially_ Cal Kestis."

 _Good to know._ "So we have a deal then?"

"As long as you'll give consideration to Maz Kanata for Dameron's position. She's the best person for the job, and has been passed over twice."

"If she applies, I'll make sure she's given due consideration." 

"Thank you, Kylo." She put out her hand. "I guess we have a deal then." 

I shouldn't have noticed how tiny and soft her hands were, how much her skin felt like silk, but I did. I cleared my throat after we shook. "I'll let Finn Anderson know you'll be taking the reins back immediately. I have to admit, I'm a bit surprised you won't try for Dameron's position for yourself."

She shook her head. "I'm not ready for it. But Maz will do a great job. Unlike Dameron, she's smart and fair, and people respect what she says too. Well, actually, to be fair, Dameron was smart, too. Just not when it came to women."

This woman just kept surprising me. "You really thought that Dameron was smart?"

She nodded. "He was. It was everything else that was horrible."

"How did you two manage to co-exist for so long if he was that bad?"

"He was rude and demeaning, and I got my job from the little things that drove him nuts. I pretended it balanced things out."

My brows furrowed. "What little things?"

She smirked. "Well, he had certain pet peeves. For example, he couldn't stand when someone tapped their foot. It would make him turn the color of a tomato while he held in exploding about it."

"Okay...."

"So I would tap my foot and watch the vein in this neck pulse when he pissed me off." My brows rose. "He also once mentioned that he hated when people wore too much perfume or cologne. So I kept a bottle in my desk drawer for those times when I saw him ogling a woman's ass. I'd douse myself before going into his office and pretending that I needed help with a story."

"Creative," I said.

"I thought so, too."

Rey Kenobi had a wicked side, that was for sure. I probably shouldn't have, but I found it rather sexy. The waiter came back to take our order, but we still hadn't checked out the menu. "Have you decided yet?"

Rey then held her menu up to the waiter. "Actually, I'm not going to be staying for lunch. So it's just Mr. Ren."

"Alright." The waiter nodded and then turned to me. "For you, sir?"

"I still need a few more minutes." After the waiter walked away, I raised a brow. "Not hungry?" 

"I'm always hungry. But I need to change the flat tire to my spare so I can drive the car to the tire shop. My roommate has to work at three, and she's going to give me a lift back home so I don't have to wait there. Las time they took hours, and ow that I'm employed again...I have a tone of work to catch up on."

I nodded. "Do you have AAA?"

I wasn't sure why the hell I'd asked. Was I going to go over and roll up the sleeves of my custom-made shirt and change it for her if she didn't?

"No. But I know how to change it. I've done it before." She laughed. "In fact, I once went on a date with a guy who got a flat while driving me home. He'd never changed a fire, so I changed it for him."

I smiled. "I bet he didn't get a second date, did he?"

She finished off her glass of wine. "Definitely not." 

I don't know why, but at that moment, my mind conjured up a quick flash of Rey changing a tire. Only she was changing some guy's tired while dressed for a date. She had on a pair of Daisy Duke's and a shirt tied in a knot near the lower abdomen, exposing a fuck of a lot of tanned skin, her hair was in pigtails, and she had a smudge of grease on her cheek. The grease was fucking hot. 

I shook my head and cleared my throat. "I'll let people know to expect you back to work on Monday."

Rey stood, and I followed suit. She extended her hand. "Thank you for getting involved. Obviously, you didn't have to. Especially after all the horrible emails that I sent to you."

I nodded and shook. "I think everything worked out the way it should have."

She gathered her purse and started to walk away, then turned back. "Oh....and I gave you my number for lunch. Obviously, this means I can't go out with you."

"Of course," I smiled. "Turns our you're not my type anyway."

Rey narrowed her eyes. "And what exactly _is_ your type?"

"The non-pain-in-the-ass type. Have a good day, Ms. Kenobi." 


	5. Chapter 5

"You look insane, you know," Rose looked up at the hat on my head. 

It was totally lopsided and had two weird points that stuck up. It gave off sort of a homeless-jester vibe. Not to mention it was going to be seventy-five degrees today. But I wore it on my drive to work every day anyway. 

"You're just jealous because Aunt Mara-Jade doesn't crochet for you."

"I happen to love Mara-Jade. But, yeah....not jealous that your aunt who is almost blind left me off her Christmas crochet gift list."

I opened the passenger door and grabbed my bag. "Thank you for getting up and driving at this ungodly hour. I didn't want to call an Uber and risk getting to work late on my first day back. I owe you one, Rose."

"No, you owe me a thousand. I'll just add it to your tab."

I smiled. "Thanks."

"What time should I pick you up?"

"Oh, you don't have to. I'll get a ride or grab an Uber to the tire shop to pick up my car. I'll just see you at home later." 

The tire shop has called to tell me I also desperately needed brakes and an alignment. So my flat tired had turned into two days without a car. 

"Are you sure? I have coverage at the spa today. In fact, I have no idea what to do with myself and since Hux talked to me into not doing treatments and only managing the place now. I can pick you up. We can even grab some lunch. Better yet, I'll bring you back to the salon, and we'll get a couple's massage. My treat!"

Rose owned a successful media-spa--the kind that did facials, Botox injections, massages, and laser treatments. Her fiancé was trying to teach her to be manager instead of a worker bee, so she could prepare to open a second location. 

"I'd love to, Rose. But I'm going to have to work late to catch up. Maybe we can grab dinner when I get home?"

She wrinkled her nose. "I can't. I promised Hux that I'd make him his favorite dinner---tortellini ala Rose."

"What's that?"

"Tortellini in a cream sauce. He loves the sauce, so I let him pain it on me when he's done."

"TMI, friend." I laughed. "TMI. But I thought he wasn't coming home until tomorrow?"

"He changed his flight." She smiled like a bride three weeks away from her wedding day. "He said he missed me too much to stay another night after his later meeting. So he's taking the last flight home. I'll probably just crash over here tonight." 

I opened my mouth and pointed inside it with my finger, making a gagging noise. But the truth was, I envied her relationship with her fiancé. I wouldn't believe most men were coming home early just to see their girlfriend of three years, but Hux was as head over heels for Rose now as when they first got together. I got out of the car and held the door. 

Rose wagged her finger at me. "Now be a good girl while you're all alone tonight, and don't email any CEO's to tell them what you think of them."

I was never going to live that one down. "I have a job again, don't I?"

She shook her head. "I still have no idea how that managed to work out."

 _Yeah. Me either._

~*****~

"Great show today, Rey."

"Thanks, Finn."

My first day back on the air in two weeks felt good, and my adrenaline was already pumping to get started on tomorrow's show. I had a renewed sense of pride in my work. Zorri poked her head into my office. She looked nervous.

"Hey, you got a minute?"

"Sure."

She walked in, fumbling with her hands and attempting to look at anything but me. "So I just wanted to clear the air between us. I hope you know that I had absolutely nothing to do with Dameron giving me your job. I was kind of shocked when he came to tell me he was promoting me."

I could have pretended that I believed her bullshit and gone back to the two of us playing ignorant, but she was young and needed someone to set her straight from the get-go and I was more than happy to oblige. 

"Come in, Zorri. Close the door behind you." She did, but stood right in front of the door. I motioned to the chairs on the other side of my desk. "Please, take a seat."

The poor thing looked pale. She'd played up to Dameron, and I'm sure she'd been thrilled when he handed her my job on a silver platter. But the bottom line was he'd abused his position, and really, she hadn't done anything wrong....except maybe break girl code. 

I sighed. "Most people think a beautiful woman doesn't have to work as hard to get what she wants. And that might be true when she's at a bar trying to get a drink, or when she's in Home Depot trying to find someone to help her down the plumbing aisle. But it's not true in the workplace. A beautiful woman often has to work twice as hard to be seen for who she is here. Because, unfortunately, there are still men out there who can't see past beauty. I think you're going to be a great reporter someday. But you're not there yet. I wasn't your age either. And when you play into men like Dameron, and take a position you haven't even earned, you devalue yourself and all women. We need to stick together, not use beauty as a weapon against each other."

Zorri looked down at her lap for a long time. When she looked up, she had tears in her eyes and nodded. "You know, you're right. It didn't feel right when he gave me the job. It felt like I hadn't earned it....because I didn't."

"Look, I'm not going to pretend I'm totally innocent here. You know the mailroom won't ship anything they receive after three o'clock until the following day. I've thrown my share of smiles and batted my damn lashes at Poe to get things out at four thirty. But just be careful around men in positions of power who give you something you didn't even earn---they're going to expect you to earn it after the fact, in a way that you won't like."

"Thanks, Rey."

"Anytime."

An hour later, my desk phone rang, and the name on the caller ID surprised me. Speaking of men in power... _.Kylo Ren_ flashed on the display. I shut my laptop and leaned back in my chair as I picked up the phone. 

"And to what do I owe this pleasure, Mr. Ren?"

"I was just calling to see how things were going---that you settled back in okay," His deep baritone voice was even raspier on the phone than in person.

Despite the lecture I'd given Zorri earlier, here I was thinking _Hmmm....I'd like to hear that voice late at night when my hands are under my covers while I'm fingering my soaping wet cunt_. I tamped down that thought and instead went with being difficult instead.

"Did you call any other employees that don't work directly for you today, as well?"

"Only the ones that sent me drunk emails, and I stupidly gave them back their jobs anyway."

I smiled. "Touché."

"So how are things going?"

"Fine. No one seems too disappointed that Dameron is gone, and the show went off without a hitch this morning."

"It was a good show, I agree."

"You watched it?"

"I did."

"Do you always watch the six o'clock news?"

"Not normally, no."

"So you watched it today because....."

The line went silent; he wasn't going to fill in the blank for me. _Hmm....interesting_. He very easily could have said he watched it to make sure that things went smoothly. Or watched it because he's the damn boss, and he felt like it. But his lack of a reason made me think he'd watch it just to watch me---and not for professional reasons. Or maybe I was reading too much into things and that's what I _wanted_ to think.

"Anyway..." he said. "I was also calling to invite you to be part of a new committee I'm chairing."

"Oh? What kind of committee?"

He cleared his throat. "It's....uh....for improving the workplace for women." 

" _You're_ chairing a women's workplace initiative?"

"Yes. Why does that surprise you?"

"Um....maybe because you're not a woman."

"That's a pretty sexist statement. Are you saying that a man can't be involved with something to foster a better work environment for women?"

"No, but---"

"If you're too busy...."

"No, no, no. Not at all. I'd love to be part of it. What can I do? When does the committee meet?"

"My assistant will get back to you with the details."

"Oh. Okay. That sounds great. Thank you for thinking of me."

"Yes. Alright. Well, then....goodbye, Rey."

He hung up sort of abruptly. But it was just as well, because I liked talking to him _way_ too much and _way_ more than was probably considered office-appropriate. And clearly, by the tone of his voice and the way he left me hanging, he more than likely felt the exact same way. 


	6. Chapter 6

"Jannah!" I shouted without getting up from my desk. 

My assistant rushed into the office. "Yes, Mr. Ren?"

"I need to start a new committee."

Her brows knitted. I avoided committees like the plague, and here I was telling her I wanted to start one. "Okay....what kind of committee, and who will be involved?"

I shook my head and grumbled the answer. "The focus of the group is to improve the workplace for women."

Jannah's eyebrows jumped. _Yeah. I know. I'm fucking shocked, too._

"Okay..." she said hesitantly, like she was waiting for the punch line. "Do you have committee members already picked out?" 

I waved my hand. "Get a bunch of women. I don't care who they are. And maybe my sister Jyn. She loves to have meetings."

"You don't care who the women on the committee are?"

"No," I picked up a pile of papers and shuffled then, trying to pull of casual. "Maybe invite Rey Kenobi to be part of it."

"Rey? The woman who sent you the decapitated flowers?"

Well, when she said it like that, it sounded a little nuts to create a committee out of thin air and invite someone who cut the heads off of the expensive flowers I sent her and walked out on our lunch date before we'd even ordered. 

I sighed. "Yeah, her."

"When would you like me...."

"Soon."

"Do you have an agenda in mind for this committee's first meeting?"

"Women's shit. I don't know. You must know better than me. Just pull something together."

Jannah looked like she was seconds away from walking over and feeling my forehead to see if I had a fever. Maybe that's what it was. Maybe I was sick instead of losing my mind? It damn well better be one or the other. I dragged a hand through my hair. A committee on women's initiatives? I wanted to be part of that almost as much I wanted someone to grip my nuts in their fist and twist. Yet here I was, apparently spearheading the group. 

What the fuck? Rey Kenobi. That's what the fuck. In my entire life, I'd never had to go out of my away to talk to a woman, yet this woman had calling her to check how her day was going and then inventing a fucking committee when she asked he reason for my call.

Stress, too much work--it wasn't entirely out of the realm of possibility that I could be experiencing a full-on breakdown. While I debated a quick trip to a therapist, my assistant was still standing i my office, looking at me like I had two heads. I picked up a file and looked at her pointedly.

"Do you need anything else from me to get it started?"

"Um....no, I don't think so." 

"Good. Then that'll be all."

Jannah stopped in my doorway and turned back. "The mail came. Would you like today's letter---"

"Throw it out," I barked.

"I'll get right on it. And don't forget about the photo shoot tonight." The confused look on my face told her I had no fucking idea what she was talking about, so she filled in the blanks. "You have an interview and photo shoot for _Today's Entrepreneur_ magazine. It was scheduled a few months ago, and it's on your calendar."

 _Shit._ Photo shoots and interviews were right up there with committees on women in the workplace on my list of crap I had zero interest in being part of. "What time?"

"Four-thirty. At Leia."

I looked down at my watch. _Great, just great._ I had an hour to finish up six hours of work. 

~*****~

A half dozen people were already sitting on the dock in front of Leia when I parked at the marina. It was four-thirty, right on the nose. They must've been early. A familiar-looking red-haired woman smiled as I approached.

"Mr. Ren. Amanda Mon-Mothma." She extended her hand to me. "It's so nice to see you again."

Again. Well, that explained why she looked so familiar. Though I had no idea where we'd met. Probably some industry function. "You, too. Please, do call me, Kylo."

"Alright. And please all me Amanda."

I looked around at a shitload of equipment. "Are you moving in or something?"

She laughed. "We brought a lot of camera and video equipment, because we weren't sure of the setting. To be safe, we even packed some props and a few canvas backgrounds. Though we can obviously put that all back in the truck." She turned to eye my boat. "This sailboat is stunning, and the scenery is better than any movie set."

"Thank you. It was my grandfather's. First sailboat he ever built in 1965." 

"Well, you could have told me it was brand new."

I nodded my head toward the Leia. "Why don't I show you around, and you can decide where your crew wants to set up."

I gave Amanda a quick tour. The sixty-foot ketch was eye candy, even to non-boaters. Navy hull, satin finish teak wood, cream upholstery, stainless steel galley, an owner's stateroom more luxurious than most apartments, and three guest cabins made it look more like a Vineyard Vines ad than a sixty-year-old sailboat. 

"So....what do you think? Where should we do this?"

"Honestly, anywhere would make for a great shoot. The boat is beautiful." She lifted a painted nail to her bottom lip, calling my attention to it. "And the subject is flawless. This cover is going to pull big numbers for sure." 

Amanda Mon-Mothma was attractive, and she knew it too. Though whatever she thought she was getting from me---a story with some major revelation or my mouth between her legs---she wouldn't wouldn't. Because business and pleasure do not mix. I almost laughed at that thought after the way I'd been acting around Ms. Aruba Tits. I held out my hand to indicate she should exit the cabin first.

"Why don't we go out on the rear deck and set up on the left side with the marina in the background?"

"That sounds perfect."

I posed for pictures for the better part of an hour, hating every single moment of it, but keeping my contempt to myself. When they had enough shots to plaster the walls of my office, Amanda told everyone to pack it up. 

"Do you want me to video the interview?" her cameraman asked.

The piece she was putting together was for print, but it wasn't uncommon to record a session so the reporter could go back later and listen for things they'd missed in their notes.

Amanda's eyes swept over me. "No, that's okay. I think I'm good taking care of this one all by myself." After the crew left, we sat alone on the back deck. "So tell me, how often do you get down here to go boating? My brother is an orthopedic surgeon with a fifty-foot Carver down in San Diego Bay. I think he used it twice last year."

The truthful response to that question was _every damn day._ But I preferred to keep my private life just that...private. The fact that I lived on the Leia was none of her business, and definitely not something I intended to share with her rabid readers. 

I nodded like I could relate to her brother. "Not often enough."

"I love that you still have your grandfather's first boat. I think the things a man holds on to say a lot about him."

If she only knew the half of it. "This boat built my family's company."

"How so?"

"This was his first model, and he used it to take the initial orders Ren Craft Yachts. Thirty years later, Ren Craft went public, and my family used the proceeds to expand into different entertainment-related businesses. My dad had started a sports magazine, and my grandfather, Anakin, bought a few more publications. Eventually that left to buying a news station and chain of movie theaters. So without this boat, you wouldn't be interested in interviewing me today."

She flaunted a flirtatious smile. "Something tells me I'd be interested in interviewing you whether you were the CEO of one of the top 100 growing companies in America or your job was to clean this here boat."

"I'm not that interesting."

"Humble, too, huh? I like it." She winked. "Tell me about your family's foundation. Your mother started it, correct?"

"That's right. It's called Leia's Place, the same as the boat was named after. My grandfather had two kids, my mother and her brother, Luke, but I secretly think he favored her. You see, times were tough and my grandparents couldn't take care of their own kids, so my mother and her brother were put into the foster care system. She moved around a lot, so it was difficult for her to keep the same therapist for too long. She had a different counselor every year Child Protective Services, because those people are underpaid and overworked, so they tend to have revolving door. She always felt different than the other kids in school, most of whom didn't know what foster care was. So it was difficult to connect with someone who understood what she was going through. Leia's Place is sort of like a big brother program for foster kids, except all of the big brothers and sisters are former foster children themselves, so they can really connect with the kids they're assigned to. The foundation trains the volunteers and covers the cost of all of their outings, meals, and entertainment when they spend time with their Little Sister or Brother. It also pays down a chunk of any student loans the volunteers have or helps them pay for a college education." 

"That's amazing."

It was amazing, and that's because my mother was a very special person. But all this shit was readily available online. So if this was news to Amanda, she hadn't done her homework properly. 

I smiled. "My mother never forgot where she came from."

"And you and your sisters were adopted from foster care, right?"

I nodded. More shit anyone with access to Goggle could find in under two minutes. "That's right. My parents became foster parent's when I was five. I was first, and then my sister, Jyn. We were all originally foster placements. My mother continued to take in children until she became sick."

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you."

"And do you have a Little Brother? I mean, in the program."

"I do. He's eleven, going on twenty. My sister is paired up, too."

She smiled. "What's his name?"

Finally, one probing question. Though I wasn't about to give her Ben's name. The relationships between a Big and a Little were private---especially mine and Ben's tangled one. "I prefer not to divulge anything about kids who are part of the program."

"Oh. Sure. Yeah. I understand. They're minors. I wasn't thinking."

Over the next half hour we talked about more things that would find their way into the puff piece she'd write---who runs what at First Order Industries, how well the company is doing, and the direction I'd like to take things in the next few years. Then she attempted to get some personal questions in.

"Are you single?"

I nodded. "I am."

"No special someone to take sailing on the weekend on this beautiful boat of yours?"

"Not at the moment."

My phone started to buzz. I looked down. "It's the office. Please excuse me for a moment."

"Of course."

I swiped to answer, knowing full well who would be on the line, and took a few steps away from Amanda. "Hi, Mr. Ren. It's Jannah, and I'm about to head out for the day. It's just about six o'clock. You wanted me to call and let you know when it was six."

"Yes, that's great. Thank you." I held the phone up to my ear for a minute after my assistant hung up, and then turned back to my interviewer. "Sorry. I have an overseas call I'm going to need to take in a few minutes. Do you think you can finish up?"

"Oh. Of course. No problem." She stood. "I think I have everything I need for now anyway."

 _It's gonna be one hell of a dull article._ "Great. Thank you."

Amanda packed up her notepad and dug a business card out of her purse. Writing something on the back, she extended it to me with a tilt of her head. "I wrote my home number on the card." She smiled. "I love to sail."

I smiled back like I was flattered. "I'll keep that in mind the next time I'm going out."

 _Which will not likely be anytime soon....considering the boat hasn't moved from the dock in close to a decade._ Offering a hand, I helped Amanda over to the dock. She lifted the strap of her bag onto her shoulder and looked down at the name painted in gold across the back of the navy hull. 

"Leia." she said with a tilt of her head. "Is there another reason for you choosing the name?"

I winked. "Sorry. Interview is over."


	7. Chapter 7

_15 years ago..._

I couldn't stop staring. The snow was coming down pretty heavy, and the new girl stood out front with her mouth open, tongue sticking out, and no shoes on as she spun around with her eyes shut. She laughed as she caught snowflakes in her mouth.

Kira. _Kira._ I needed to get some of those flowers to see what they smelled like. Not that I was dumb enough to think that Kira would actually smell like a tulip, or an orchid or even a bundle of roses, but I somehow knew that the smell was going to be the best smell ever. I had a gnawing ache in my chest as I watched from the window. The logical reason for it was the grilled cheese and tomato soup Mom had made for lunch earlier.

But I knew that wasn't it. Even at twenty-one, I knew what love felt like. Well, I hadn't until an hour ago when the doorbell rang. Yet now I was absolutely certain of it.

_Kira. Kira. Kylo's Kira. It even sounds right, doesn't it?_

Kylo and Kira. Kira and Kylo. If we have kids, maybe they'll be named after flowers, too--Violet, Poppy, Ivy. Wait, Ivy isn't even a flower. It's a damn weed, I think? Whatever.

It's not even important. I leaned closer to the window in my father's office, and my warm breath fogged the view. Raising a hand, I wiped it clear with the cuff of my sweatshirt. The movement caught Kira's attention down below. She stopped spinning, cupped her hands around her eyes to shield them from the snow, and squinted up at me. I probably should've ducked so she didn't see me, but I was frozen---completely and totally mesmerized by this girl.

She yelled something I couldn't hear with the window shut. So I unlocked it and slid it open. I had to clear my throat to get words word. "Did you say something?"

"Yeah. I said, are you some sort of a creeper or something?"

Oh shit! Now she thinks I'm weird. First I'd practically run out of the room when my mother introduced her to us, and now she'd caught me watching her like some sort of stalker. I needed to play it cool. 

"No," I yelled. "Just watching to see of any of your toes are going to turn black and fall off from frostbite. Didn't you see _The Day After Tomorrow?"_

She shook her head. "I've never been to a movie."

My eyes widened. "You've never been a movie?"

"Nope. My mother doesn't believe in television or movies. She thinks that TV makes us believe stupid things."

"But if you'd watched _The Day After Tomorrow_ , you might have some shoes on."

She smiled, and oh my heart. Literally. It skipped a beat. It felt like it had done a quick somersault the moment she flashed her pearly whites. I rubbed at the spot on my chest, though it didn't hurt at all. 

Looking down again at Kira, I yelled. "Hey, do that again."

"Do what?"

"Smile?" 

And then there it was--an unmistakable skipped beat inside my chest. Kira turned to look all around her. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Bells jingling."

Maybe we were both just imagining things. "No. No bells."

She shrugged. "Maybe it's Santa Claus. I heard you rich people believe until you're, like thirty because you keep getting gifts every single year." 

Suddenly the outside motion detector light flashed on, and I heard my mother's voice. "Kira? What are you doing out there? Come inside before you catch a cold." 

"Yes, Mrs. Solo. I was just checking out the snowflakes. I've never seen now before in person."

"Oh, my. Okay. Well, come inside, and let's get you properly dressed. Jyn has a snowsuit and boots that should fit you....and a hat."

Kira looked up at me and smile one more time. My heart squeezed inside my chest again. _Again._ Damn....who knew that love could be so fucking painful?

~*****~

The next morning I couldn't find her anywhere. Mom usually made the new kids take the bus to school with me on their first day, and then I'd walk them to the office where she'd already be registering them and talking to the guidance counselor. I poured cereal into a bowl and grabbed the milk out of the refrigerator, but when I went to out the container back, I heard a loud bang coming from the door that leg to the garage.

I scooped up a mouthful of Golden Grahams and went to see what was going on, carrying my cereal bowl. Opening the door, I halted mid-chew.

"What the heck are you doing?"

Kira's brows drew tighter. She seemed legitimately confused by my question. "Um...painting. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks more like you painted yourself." 

Kira stood in front an easel, her arms and legs covered in a dozen different colors of paint. She had on a long T-shirt that covered her ass, but just barely. My eyes snagged on her legs, which had less pain than the top half of her, but were so long and smooth. I'd never seen a girl with such long legs before.

I had the strongest urge to pick her up and see if she could cross her feet at the ankles behind my back. I didn't realize how long I'd been staring until she spoke again. 

"You're dripping."

My eyes jumped up to meet hers. "Huh?"

She smiled and nodded her chin toward my cereal bowl. I'd been holding it crooked and milk was dripping onto my shoes. "Shit!" I righted the bowl.

Kira laughed. God, this girl was so beautiful. Long, dark brown hair, naturally tanned skin in the dead of winter, and the biggest brown eyes I'd ever seen. And she was tall---only a few inches shorter than me. Ever since the summer of eight grade, when I grew four inches in just a few months, most of the girls didn't come up to my shoulders. But Kira did.

And it felt right that she was tall---like she was meant to stand out over all the other girls. 

I shook my head and snapped myself out of it. "Does my mother know you're in here painting? The bus comes in, like, fifteen minutes."

Her button nose wrinkled. "Bus?"

"Yeah, you know....for school. It's seven o'clock."

"In the morning?"

Now I was as confused as her. "Yes, the morning. What, you thought it was still nighttime?"

"Yeah. I guess I painted all night. I must've lost track of time." She shrugged. "That happens sometimes."

I walked over and looked at the canvas. "You painted that?"

"Yeah. It's not that good."

My brows rose. The painting, which was some sort of abstract of a bunch of intertwined flowers, looked like it belonged in a museum, if you asked me. "Umm....if that's not good, I hope you don't see the crap that I make in art class."

She smiled. And again, my chest tightened. "My mom took me to Hawaii once. The flowers there were so beautiful. It's the only think I like to paint." She shrugged. "I'm sort of obsessed with doing it. I name them all. This one is call Leilani---it means heavenly flower and child of God in Hawaiian. It's a popular name there. My grandmother was Willow. My mom is Rose, and I'm Kira, which means flower Goddess or at least that's what my mom told me. So we're all named after flowers and plants. Maybe when I have my own little girl someday, I'll name her Leilani or Leia for short."

Wow. That's really screwed up. I'd had the same thought about naming kids after flowers. Except my thought hadn't been about Kira's kids, it had been about _our_ kids. 

"Leilani," I said. "Leia, like my mom. That's a beautiful name."

Kira closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. "Lay-lah-nee. It is, isn't it?"

"And you're beautiful, too." I wasn't sure where that even came from. Well, obviously, I knew where it came from--it was the truth.

But I hadn't expected it to come out of my mouth. Kira set the brush down on her easel and wiped her hands on her T-shirt. She walked over and stood directly in front of me---right in my personal space. Every hair on my body rose, and my palms immediately started to sweat. _Jesus, what the hell is wrong with me?_

I'd made out with girls before, and yet this girl made me nervous to even be around her. Pushing up on her toes, Kira kissed my cheek gently.

"I think this might be the first foster home I've liked living in."

_Yeah, I think I'm going to like you living here, too._


	8. Chapter 8

"Oh good. It didn't start yet." A woman in a gray suit took the seat next to me at the conference table. She seemed flustered. "I heard he's a stickler for being on time."

"Kylo?" I asked.

Her brows drew together. "Mr. Ren, yes."

Oh, right. Mr. Ren. I guess he was Kylo when he was a guy I was going to go out with, but now he's back to Mr. Ren. "His secretary came in a few minutes ago," I said. "He's running a few minutes later today."

The woman smiled. "Great. My daughter's called, and I had to referee an argument over a hairbrush." She extended her hand. "I'm Jessika Pava, by the way. I'm the accounting manager over in Finances."

I shook. "Rey Kenobi or Rey Jakku. I'm in the News division of Broadcast Media. Jakku is my on-air name."

"Oh, I know who you are. I absolutely love your show."

I smiled. "Thank you."

"I'm really excited about this new committee. But I just wish we had a little more notice. It's the end of the month and crunch time for my department."

I'd been curious about how this committee came about ever since Kylo had called. I couldn't shake the crazy thought that he'd made up the entire thing while on the phone with me. Of course that was ludicrous---not to mention egotistical and self-absorbed---yet the idea kept nagging at me. 

"When did you get invited?" I asked.

"Just this morning. You?"

"A few days ago. Did you receive an agenda for the meeting or anything?"

"Nope. Nothing." 

The air in the room suddenly changed, and I knew who'd walked in before I turned my head. Kylo Ren stood just inside the door with the VP of the News division, Jyn Erso-Ren, my boss's boss, and who was also his sister. He scanned the room, and his eyes stopped upon finding me--as if he'd found what he was looking for, which was crazy. His gaze was so intense that it made me want to fidget in my seat.

"Sorry, I'm late," he said. "First, I want to thank you all for coming." He turned to his sister. "I'm sure you all known Jyn. She's the Vice President of Broadcast Media."

People thanked him for inviting them, but I stayed quiet, observing. There were a few open seats: the head of the table, one down at the far end of my side, one directly across from me, and one to my left. Without discussion, his sister moved to the open seat a few spots over---I got the feeling this man took the power seat in ever room he walked into.

But then he surprised me. He pulled the chair from the head of the table and held it out. "Jyn."

His sister seemed just as surprised, but she turned back and took the seat anyway. Kylo unbuttoned his jacket and pulled out the chair next to me. He leaned in close as he settled in and whispered quietly, "Good to see you, Rey."

I nodded. No one at the table seemed to take notice of anything strange---certainly not that he'd taken the seat next to me and move it a little closer than it had been before, and luckily not that my mind was reeling from the way he smelled: clean, but with a masculine, woodsy edge.

For the next half hour, I tried to ignore the man sitting next to me and tried not to fidget. But I had to look at Jyn while she spoke, which mean Kylo's profile was directly in my line of sight. It also meant I noticed how pale his skin really looked. He could almost past for a ghost---yet, it went fitting with his inky-black hair. I wouldn't really have taken him for the outdoorsy type. But there was a soft pink shade lingering---so it looked like he had spent some time in the sun and just got burned.

His skin was so pale, his black hair shaggy, and it could use a trim at the edges when it reached his collar. He had the start of a five o'clock shadow, even though it was only ten in the morning.

I wondered if he shaved at night or if he just had so much testosterone that a beard started sprouting just a couple of hours after he put down the razor. My gut said it was the latter. Possibly feeling eyes on him, Kylo turned and looked at me. His eyes immediately dropped to my lips, and I lost the battle I'd waged not to fidget.

I forced my attention back to Jyn, but I didn't miss the slight lip twitch from the man sitting next to me before he refocused on his sister. 

"Why don't we go around the room and open the floor for possible agenda items for our next meeting?" Jyn said. "I'd love to hear what you all think are some of our most pressing women's issues here at First Order Industries."

"That's a great idea, Jyn." Kylo said.

Some of the women were more enthusiastic than others. One woman spoke about the need for a breastfeeding room. Another spoke about mixing family responsibilities with work and how flexible hours in the workplace would be a great asset to working moms and dads. An older woman advocated for equal pay for women, which had been the issue I'd planned to speak about since I had personal experience with it.

Two women passed on speaking, saying they needed to give it some thought, and then it was my turn. I'd been about to second the other woman's comments on equal pay when I felt Kylo's eyes on me. At the last second, I decided to screw with him.

"I personally think sexual harassment needs to be addressed. Things like a boss or a boss's boss's boss asking a woman out to lunch."

Kylo kept his face stern, yet I caught the slight tick of the muscle in his jaw. "Absolutely," Jyn said. "Things like that should never happen."

Kylo cleared his throat. "I do a lot of business over meals. It's partially out of necessity because there are only so many hours in the day. Are you saying we should put an end to the practice people sharing lunch altogether?"

I addressed him directly. "No, not at all. But it's a slippery slope, and it's often difficult for a woman to know if a man is inviting her to lunch to discuss business or if there's more to it."

Kylo held my eyes for a few heartbeats and then gave a curt nod. "Very well. Add that to the agenda for our next meeting." He stood abruptly. "I think this has been a very good start. I'll have my assistant type up notes and schedule the next meeting."

Jyn looked just as confused as most of the people at the table. But I got the feeling she was used to her brother's abruptness.

She quickly smoothed things over. "Yes, we appreciate you taking the time to kick things off with us, and we look forward to addressing the man unique needs of women in the workplace. I think this committee is going to do very good things for First Order Industries. Thank you for making the time, everyone."

I stayed in my seat as people got up, eavesdropping on a conversation between Kylo and Jyn. Oh, this is going to be good. I can tell.

"You decide to create this committee, come up with a flimsy agenda three hours ago, and then stick me at the head of the table to punt." Jyn shook her head. "I finally get things going, and then you grow bored. Do me a favor, don't take an interest in any committees anymore." She shuffled the papers in front of her and turned on heel to walk out.

I rose and headed for the door. But I felt Kylo walk up behind me. His discreetly took my elbow and steered me to the right as we exited the conference room. "Can we speak for a moment?" he whispered.

"Sure. Would you like to hear more about my thoughts on sexual harassment?" I offered a smug smile.

His jaw flexed, and I continued to walk by his side down the hall to his office. Arriving, he extended a hand for me to walk in first. "This is me being a gentleman. I certainly hope it's not a form of harassment." 

Kylo spoke to his assistant from the doorway which I took a look around his office. It was large, the proverbial corner office with floor-to-ceiling windows covering two walls, a masculine-looking, carved dark wood desk in the center, and a desperate seating area to one side. A framed photo on a credenza caught my attention---Kylo and his sister and a smaller boy, along with an older woman, who I assumed to be his mother. Though I didn't ask when he walked in and joined me.

He motioned to the seating area. "Please, have a seat."

He took the seat across from me, unbuttoned a cufflink, and started to roll up one of his shirtsleeves. "So....your boss's boss's boss asking you to lunch is considered sexual harassment?"

My eyes had been glued to his muscular forearms. I blinked a few times and looked up. I'd only been teasing him when I sad that in the conference room, but the look in his eyes wasn't at all playful. 

"I was just screwing around with you, Ren."

"So you didn't find it harassing when I asked you to lunch to discuss your reinstatement?"

I'd actually been referring to when he'd asked me to lunch before I even knew who he was. But Kylo looked genuinely concerned that he'd upset me. I felt like I should let him off the hook. 

I shook my head. "I never felt harassed. Sexual harassment is an unwelcome sexual advance. You never propositioned me once I knew who you really were, and, if I'm being honest here, any advance you made in the coffee shop wasn't an unwelcomed one."

His shoulders visibly relaxed. "I do apologize if I put you in a precarious position in the coffee shop."

I was honest. "It's okay. Like I said before, it wasn't unwelcomed."

Kylo seemed to avoid looking at me. He nodded and finished rolling up the other sleeve before standing. "Thank you for your candor."

I stood. "Of course."

A moment of awkwardness settled between us. I was acutely aware of how much my body liked being this close to him. The air had a crackle to it whenever he was near, and I didn't think I was the only one who felt it---probably not the best thing to be thinking about right after the meeting we'd just had. 

"Okay....well...I'll see you at the next meeting, I guess."

Kylo nodded. He looked like he wanted me to leave his office almost as much as I wanted to leave...which was not at all. Nevertheless, I took a few steps toward the door. Then I changed my mind. If could be candid, so could he. 

"Can I ask you something?" I said.

"What is it?"

"Did you make up the women's committee while you were on the phone with me? Or it was just something you had in the works?"

Kylo raised one brow. "You're very fully of yourself, aren't you? The president of a multinational company makes up an entire initiative just to have to the chance to spend a little time with you?"

I felt my cheeks heat. I knew how egotistical it all sounded....I laughed nervously. "I guess that is a little insane."

Kylo stepped closer to me. "It would also be highly inappropriate, wouldn't it now?"

I could've sworn there was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. Damn, my imagination was really having a field day. I needed to get the hell out of here and quick. "Yes. Yes, I suppose it would be." I shook my head. "I probably should get back to work."

I suddenly had the urge to flee and headed for the door. As I reached for the doorway, Kylo called out after me. "Rey?"

I slowly turned back. Dear God, the man was handsome. He was the kind of gorgeous your eyes snagged on while walk and made you trip over your own two feet---basically the dangerous kind women should keep away from, particularly with the cocky smile he wore on his face.

"I'm glad we've cleared up that any advance wasn't unwelcomed. I'll see you around...soon." 

My brain felt like it was misfiring as I walked out of his office. What the hell had just happened? I'd admitted that I welcomed any advance by him, and he'd admitted what....? I played the conversation over in my as I head for the elevator. While I had been forthcoming, Kylo hadn't actually admitted anything. In fact, when I asked him if he'd created the meeting just for my benefit, he'd turned the question around onto me. He never did give me a straight answer, did he?


	9. Chapter 9

"A committee on women's initiatives? Seriously?"

I sighed as my sister Jyn helped herself into my office. "We already did this dance after the meeting ended, remember?"

"I'm not done discussing it."

"Of course you're not," I mumbled under my breath. 

"Why a committee? There's a reason."

I shuffled papers on my desk. "It's an initiative I've been thinking about for a long time. I thought I'd mentioned it to you." 

Jyn squinted. "How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long have you been thinking about this initiative?" 

"A pretty long time." I stacked the papers I'd gathered into a pile in the middle of my desk and straightened them.

My sister stayed quiet. She was waiting for me to look at her. I took a deep breath and raised my eyes to meet hers. She studied my face before speaking again. "Why don't I believe you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Because you're a man-hating narcissist." 

"True. But that's not it."

I knew all of my sister's tones. There was the pissed-off one when she thought I was an asshole and was starting to lose patience, and there was the warm and caring one she used when she discussed subjects like our parents. Most commonly, I was on the receiving end of the snarky tone, which I generally deserved.

But the tone right now? This was her bloodhound tone, the one where she sank her teeth into every word I said to look for underlying meaning. She knew I was full of shit about my interest in a women's initiative, and it was killing her not to know the real reason I'd done what I did. 

I opened my desk drawer and pulled out a file. Plopping it down on the desk, I said, "I have a meeting in five minutes, so why don't you go play detective in your own office. If you come up with any more clues, have your assistant send a memo to my assistant."

My sister scowled at me. "You're such an ass, you know that?"

My lips curved to a genuine smile. "Love you too, sis." 

Jyn just rolled her eyes. "Don't forget about the One World Broadcasting fundraiser Friday night. Are you bringing Evelyn?"

"Evelyn and I aren't seeing each other anymore." I made a mental note to let Evelyn know about that. 

"Oh. Who are you bringing then?"

"You know I don't always need to bring a date to functions."

"Yet you always do...." She walked toward my doorway. "Oh, I almost forgot. The woman you recommended to replace Dameron---Maz Kanata---came back clean on her updated background check. I interviewed her after my director finished. We both agree she'd be a good fit. I'll be making her an offer at the end of this week. But we can invite her to the fundraiser if you'd like. Dameron always went, and we have the empty seat at our tables."

"Sure, that's fine." Jyn turned to leave. "Wait," I called after her. "Who usually gets invited to these things if there's no department head?"

She shrugged. "No one. Or sometimes the acting department head."

"Oh second thought, let's hold off on making Maz an offer for a week ort wo." I pulled a lie right out of my ass. It was so believable that when I said the words, I wondered if maybe they were true. "I heard she applied over at Eastern Broadcasting. I'd like to see if she takes that job if we don't give her the position right away---see how loyal she is and what she's willing to risk to stick around with us."

My sister looked surprised, but she bought the story. "Oh. Okay," she said. "That's a good idea. I'll hold off on her offer and won't invite her to the fundraiser, which would give her a hint she was getting the job. I'll see if the interim department head can attend instead." 

_Nice, Jyn. Your_ idea to invite Rey. I waved my head like I wasn't thrilled at the prospect of the interim department head coming to the fundraiser decked out in a sexy-as-shit dress. "Fine. Whatever you want." 

Jyn turned to turn around a second time, and I stopped her yet again. "Also, since the topic of sexual harassment came up in our new committee meeting, I'd like to read our policy---brush up on how we handle things. And also whatever policy we have on workplace relationships."

Maybe I'd pushed my bullshit too far. My sister's brows jumped again. "Really? You want to read _policy?"_

"Yes."

"Well, there's a first time for everything, I suppose. We have a sexual harassment policy, of course. But we don't actually have a corporate policy prohibiting office relationships and dating. Eighty percent of people either observed or have been involved in an office relationship. Who are we to tell people that work ninety hours a week that they can't date a co-worker?"

I scratched at the scruff on my chin. "So what Ms. Kenobi referenced in our meeting---a boss asking an employee on a date---that's permissible?"

"Well, that's where it gets tricky. It's certainly not illegal or against policy for a manager to ask out his employee, per se. But sexual harassment is illegal Title VII of the federal Civil Rights Act, as well as New York law and our own corporate policy, which prohibits creating a hostile workplace based on a person's sex. A manager and an employee get friendly, maybe one misreads the other's signals, and then all of a sudden a rebuffed request for a date creates a difficult workplace environment."

I nodded. "Good to know. Thank you, Jyn."

After Jyn disappeared, I sat back down in my chair and stared out the window. I'd never dipped my pen in company ink. In fact, I didn't get involved with anyone in the goddamn industry. I liked my private business kept private. Yet here I was inquiring about policy and procedure, ready to rewrite it if I needed to, just to keep my fantasy about getting in Rey Kenobi's pants alive.

 _Fuck._ I dragged a hand through my hair. That thought alone could probably get me in hot water. Though, like my sister said, federal and state laws only pertained to _unwelcomed_ advances.

And Rey had been clear that my previous advance---before she knew who I was---hadn't been unwelcomed. Now all I needed to do was to have my employee welcome further advances---like telling her I can't stop thinking about her wicked mouth wrapped around my cock. 

~*****~

Two days later, I'd managed to get my head back in the game and get some actual work done--work that didn't involve Rey Kenobi. I'd just finished a conference call with our London attorneys when Jannah knocked and opened my office door.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt, sir. But you have a visitor."

I looked down at my watch. "I didn't think the meeting with Snap Wexley was for another hour."

"It's not. Evelyn is here."

I tossed my pen on the desk and leaned back in my chair with a sigh. I should have texted her back earlier. Better yet, I should have taken her out to dinner and broken things off. The last thing I wanted was to create a scene in my office. 

Jannah saw my face. "I told her you were in a meeting, so I can let her know you're going to be a while, if you want."

I seriously considered it. But I liked loose ends even less than confrontation, so I might as well get it over with. I shook my head. "No, it's fine. Just give me a minute to clean up my desk."

Jannah nodded, and a few minutes later, she showed Evelyn in. Evelyn was dressed in a body-hugging black mini dress that showed off a mile of tanned legs. I stayed behind my desk to avoid an intimate greeting. 

"I was starting to think you were avoiding me."

I smiled. "No, just busy." i motioned to the chair on the other side of the desk. "What brings you by?"

Evelyn Hoth was beautiful woman. A professional model, she knew exactly how to play up her best feature. With long legs and bright aqua-blue eyes---she captured everyone's attention. Though she took a seat and very slowly and purposely crossed her tone legs, neither my dick nor I got too excited. 

"I have to leave for Paris this weekend, and I'll be gone for two weeks. I thought maybe we could get together before then. I'm free Thursday night."

Thursday night was the fundraiser. "I have a work event Thursday evening."

She pouted. "I have to work Friday, but maybe a late supper?"

I wasn't the type of man who ignored women and blew off their invitations as a way of ending things. I preferred direct, and in the long run, most women did, too. Though sometimes they didn't appreciate being dumped in the short run. 

I leaned forward. "Look, you're a wonderful woman, Evelyn. But we're in different places, and I think it's best if we stop seeing each other."

Her flirty, pouty mouth twisted to angry. "What?"

"Look, I was upfront when we started seeing each other a few months ago. I'm not interested in a relationship right now. Things were casual at first, but I don't think we're looking for the same thing anymore."

She raised her voice. "So you just wanted to fuck me, then? Is that it?”

I thought explaining that I didn't want a relationship _before_ we went out the first time had clarified that whatever we might have was physical and for companionship. But apparently in the future I needed to spell it out even more. 

"Please keep your voice down. I was clear about my intentions from the very beginning."

Tears flooded her eyes. Shit. I should have taken Jannah up on the offer to pretend I was still on my call and done this in a public place where I had an escape route. Shit, shit, shit! Fucking stupid, Ren!

"B-But I thought we'd grown to more...."

And therein lay the problem. Some women say they're good with casual---but they really aren't. The think they can change what I want and then get pissed off at me for only wanting exactly what I'd said I wanted the the beginning.

"I'm sorry if you misunderstood."

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. Her entire face contorted. "I didn't misunderstand. You led me on."

But in fact, I hadn't led her on one bit. But I knew when it was best to eat a crow. "I'm sorry if I did that."

Her face softened, and she sniffled. "Fine. We can keep it the way things were when we started. No strings attached."

I could've ended this more easily if I'd just agreed to that and then avoided her in the future. But leaving no strings attached still kept a string between us. And I didn't want to be tethered to her anymore. 

"Evelyn, I think it's best if we just end things here completely."

Her eyes grew wide. She wasn't used to rejection. "But...."

"I'm so sorry, Evelyn."

She recovered by shifting from upset and shocked back to pissed off. Abruptly, she rose to her feet. I joined her in standing. Evelyn surprised me by smoothing out her dress. It looked like she was going to leave without too much of a scene after all. Thinking we were good, I made the mistake of walking around the desk to escort her out. But apparently, her composure was only the eye of the storm. Once I got near, her fury reignited.

_"You're a user, Kylo Ren!"_

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

She raised her voice again. "Your apartment is as dull as you are. The only thing interesting about you is your dick."

 _Okay, I'm done._ I put my hand behind her back, careful not to touch, but to guide her to walk toward my office door.

She practically spat at me. "Don't fucking touch me, Ren! We are so done!” 

I pulled my hand back and raised them both in the air. "I was just going to show you out."

She reared back and slapped me across the face. The impact was so unexpected and hard, my cheek turned from the momentum of the connection.

"I'll show myself out, thanks." 

I stayed put until the door opened and slammed shut. It had been a long time since I was slapped. _A very long-ass time._ Only now, I was smarter and would be keeping far away after that shit happened. 


	10. Chapter 10

_14 years ago..._

"I don't want to go back."

I rubbed Kira's shoulders. "I don't want you to go either."

Her eyes filled with tears. "It's just going to happen again. My mom is fine for a while, and then she stops taking her meds and suddenly disappears. Eventually someone realizes I'm living alone and calls the cops, who then call Social Services." 

Kira had been with us for more than nine months. She'd told me how when her mom would disappear, she had to steal food from the grocery store and sell shit from their apartment just to eat. She'd stopped going to soup kitchens because they asked so many questions about where her parents were.

"Listen, I want you to take this." I held out an envelope with five-hundred bucks stashed inside. "Just in case she disappears again."

The tears she'd held back began to stream down her face. "I don't need it. You're going to come see me all the time, right? If she disappears, I'll just tell you and you can bring me something then."

"What happens if she makes you move again, Kira?"

They'd moved dozens of times over the last fifteen years. Me showing up at her apartment one day and finding it empty wasn't out of the realm of possibility. 

"I won't go. How would you even find me?"

"If you move, you'll write to me. Do you know the address here?"

Kira nodded and rattled of the house address. I smiled. "Good. If you ever have to move, you'll tell me in a letter. And I'll come see you ever week on Sunday---even if you move all the way to Los Angels, I promise." That probably seemed a little crazy, but I knew I'd find a way to do it. Kira and I were meant to be together. "Here, take the envelope. It's not much. But you might need it for stamps. Or stuff for school."

She hesitated for a second, but took it. Once she figured out how much I'd shoved inside, she wouldn't be happy. But she'd be back at her mother's, and neither of us was going to be very happy anyway. My mom knocked on Kira's door. 

"Kira, sweetheart? Are you ready? The social worker is here."

The look of terror on her face killed me. It freaking killed me. I knew from personal experience that going back home once you'd been removed rarely worked out. Yet the damn judges always wanted to put you back---as if mothers an fathers were entitled to have children, and they had to prove to the guy in the black robe by they were incompetent. Birth parents usually had to screw up a half-dozen times before they'd stopped sending you back. The system really sucked. 

I motioned toward the door with my head and whispered, "Tell her you're getting dressed, and you'll be down in a few minutes."

Kira did, but her voice broke. Mom said she'd meet her downstairs. It was only a matter of time before my mother noticed I wasn't around. Kira and I had kept out relationship a secret. We were so afraid that my parents would think it was a bad idea to keep two eighteen year-olds who were madly in love in the same house. I mean, it _was.._..but they didn't need to know that. 

They also didn't need to know that I snuck into her bed every single night after everyone was asleep. That would most certainly freak Mom out.

"I don't want to lose you," Kira sobbed quietly. 

I cupped her face and wiped away her tears with my thumbs. "Don't cry. You're never going to lose me, Kira. Not ever. I love you."

"I love you, too."

We held each other for a long time. Eventually, though, we had to let go. "I'll write you every single day we can't be together."

I smiled. "Okay."

"You don't have to write back. I know you don't like writing stuff. Just promise me one thing."

"And what's that?"

"You'll write to me if you fall in love with someone else, and tell me all about her so that I'll know you're happy and I should stop writing. Otherwise, I'll never give up on us."

I grinned and kissed her nose. "You got a deal. Works out pretty good for me. Because I'll never have to write one damn letter." 

~*****~

I'd never met anyone who had hallucinations before. My Mom had been an addict, and she would sleep for hours on end, sometimes days when she was on a binge. But even when she was at her worst, she never heard the voices inside her head. This was the second Sunday I'd visited Kira since she moved out, but the first time her mother had been home. 

Julie had a job waitressing on weekends, so she'd been at work last week, but apparently this week she was incapable of going. I understood why now. Julie was lying on the couch smoking a cigarette so small that I couldn't imagine it wasn't burning her fingers.

Her mouth kept moving as she spoke quietly to herself, but I couldn't figure out what she was saying. Kira tugged my hand when she caught me staring and told me to come to her room.

"But..."I leaned and whispered. "What about the cigarette?"

Kira sighed and walked over. She slipped the cigarette from between her mother's two fingers and dropped it into a half-full glass of water on the coffee table, which already had a dozen other tiny remnants of filters. Her mom didn't even seem to notice. I took a seat on Kira's bed, and she hopped onto my lap.

"I guess she stopped taking her medicine?"

"She ran out a week ago and didn't refill it. I hadn't been checking, so I didn't notice right away. But I called the pharmacy, and I can pick up the new one later."

"How long will she stay like that?"

Kira sighed. "I don't know. But she was doing so good."

Things had been normal for me for more than ten years now, but I still remembered the constant disappointment of my mom sleeping all the time---not to mention all the scary guys who hung around our apartment. It was easy to forget my life had once been just like Kira's. 

"Maybe we should call someone. Like CPS?"

Kira's eyed widened. "NO!"

"I thought you wanted to stay with us. If they see her like that, they'll remove you again, and you'll probably come back to our house."

Kira frowned. "I do want that. But now that I'm back with her, I can't just leave her like this. She needs me. They drug her up too much in the hospital." 

"I know. But she doesn't look so good."

"The medicine will make her better. I swear."

I didn't like it, but I understood wanting to take care of your mother, even when she should've been taking care of you. I sighed. "Fine."

Kira wrapped her arms around my neck. "Did you get my letters?"

"I did. You really don't want me to write back? I couldn't do it every day like you. I wouldn't know what to say. But maybe I could write once or twice a week."

"Nope. If I ever see a letter from you in my mailbox, my heart's going to be broken, because it will be your final goodbye."

I wasn't going to argue with her, considering I hated writing anything, especially letters. Plus, I had better things to do anyway. I brushed Kira's hair from her shoulder and leaned in for a kiss. "I missed you this week."

"I miss sleeping with you at night. I haven't been sleeping all that well without you. I really got used to the sound of your heartbeat lulling me to sleep."

"Well, you might not hear it at night anymore. But it still belongs to you."

Kira and I hung out in her room until I had to go. My mom was picking me up, and I wanted to wait downstairs so she didn't come up and see the condition of Kira's mom. Reluctantly, we untangled our bodies, straightened out clothes, and headed back do the living room. Kira had slipped out a few times over the last few hours to check on her mom, but I hadn't see her since I came in hours ago. 

Julie wasn't spacing out on the couch anymore. Now she walked back and forth from one side of the living room to the other, pacing.

When you spent a good chunk of your childhood around junkies and addicts, you learned to read how stable a person is from just a quick look into their eyes. And Kira's mother looked the opposite of stable right now. Noticing me looking at her, she stopped pacing and stared at me. 

Her face twisted with anger, and she walked toward me with purpose. I stepped in front of Kira, hoping my body would protect her from whatever was coming next.

Julie's eyes looked crazed. "I know you fucking told them."

My brows furrowed. "Who."

"The doctors, that's who. It's _your_ fucking fault!"

"I'm very sorry, Mrs. Sanderson. I'm not sure what you're talking about." 

Before I could even register what the hell was happening, she wound up and slapped me straight across the face. "You fucking liar!" 

Kira jumped between us and pushed her mom back. "Mom! What the hell? What are you doing?"

"He tells the fucking doctors." She wagged her finger at me. "He tell them everything that goes on!"

"Mom." Kira put her arm around her mother and guided her to the couch. "You're confused. You stopped taking your medicine, and it made you sick again." They sat down. "I'm going to go get it from the pharmacy."

Her mom started to cry. All of the anger in her face was gone, replaced by sheer sadness. It was the craziest transformation I'd ever seen. It took Kira a few minutes to calm her down, but eventually she got her back into position she'd been in when I walked in: lying on the couch, smoking a cigarette in an almost catatonic state, and whispering to herself. Kira walked me to the door and waited until we were in the hall to speak. 

She reached up and stroked my cheek. "I'm so sorry, Kylo. Are you okay? She....sometimes gets hallucinations, and they always seem to center on the doctors."

 _Jesus Christ._ "Yeah, I'm fine. But I don't think you should stay here anymore."

"No. I can't leave her like this. She need me."

I shook my head. "I don't know, Kira. That was really fucked up. How do you know that she won't hurt you next?"

"She won't. I promise. Please, just don't sat anything to anyone about this."

I hated to leave her, but a part of me did understand the need to help a screwed-up parent, right or wrong. I used to cook mine dinner at just five years old.

"Okay. But get her back on the meds tonight. And if she isn't a little better by next week, we really need to get you out of here as soon as possible." 


	11. Chapter 11

I wondered if he'd be here. I was mid-conversation with some former colleagues that I hadn't seen in a few years when I got my answer. The sight of him made me lose my train of thought. On the other side of the room, Kylo Ren stood wearing a classic black tuxedo. He was talking to an older gentleman, which gave me the opportunity to really take him in---tall, broad shoulders, yet not overly bulky, a narrow waist with one hand resting casually in his pants pocket. Even from a distance, his confidence registered.

There was something about the way certain men held themselves that showed they were in charge, and that really worked for me. It could take a man who was a seven and make him an eleven in my book. One the other hand, a handsome ten with a meek personality could be reduced to a five. 

Mr. Confident held a drink in his left hand and raised it to his mouth, but he stopped before drinking. He seemed to sense something and looked around the room. 

When his eyes caught mine, a slow, wicked smile spread across his face. He excused himself from the conversation and strode toward me. My whole body tingled as I watched him approach with long strides, and I turned from the group I'd been standing with. 

"What a pleasant surprise," he said.

I tried to appear casual as I sipped on my champagne. "I'm filling in for Dameron."

He nodded. "Of course you are." Kylo eyed the group next to me. "Are you here with a date?"

"No. Are you?"

He smiled and shook his head. "Would a compliment be so unwelcomed? I wouldn't want to sexually harass you."

"Compliments are always welcomed, Mr. Ren."

His dark eyes sparkled. Taking hold of my elbow, he led me a few feet away from the group I'd been standing with. "That's an awfully dangerous thing to say to a man like me."

"What was the compliment anyway?"

Kylo's eyes swept over me. "You look so beautiful tonight."

I blushed. "Thank you." Kylo stopped a waiter as he passed. He gulped back the rest of the amber liquid in his glass and slipped the flute of champagne from my hand, setting them both down on the waiter's tray. "Hey, I was drinking that."

He then motioned for the waiter to move along and returned his attention to me. "I'll get you more when we're done."

"Done with what?"

He then held out his hand. "Dance with me, Rey."

I shook my head. "I'm not really sure that's such a good idea, Kylo."

He smirked. "Well, if you think it's not a good idea, then I'm almost fucking positive that it's not, but who cares, right?"

Kylo took my hand and led me out to the dance floor. I debated arguing with him, but when he pulled me close and I felt the firmness of his chest and took in his delicious masculine scent, I completely forgot what I was even about to argue over. He led with the same kind of confidence he exuded---a quiet dominance mixed with natural grace. 

"So why no date tonight, Rey?" He looked down at me as we glided around the dance floor.

"No suitable candidates, I guess."

"Surely in the entire city of New York there's at least one eligible bachelor."

"I must keep missing him." Kylo smiled. We had a good banter, that's for sure. Even that first nutty email exchange proved that. "Why no date for you tonight?" I asked.

"I guess I keep missing her, too." We both laughed. "So how are things going without Dameron around?"

"Honestly, it's going just fine. He's not really all that missed."

Kylo nodded. "Good to hear. Though I expected nothing less." 

A minute later, the song ended, and the emcee asked everyone to please find their seats in the main dining room. As soon as we stepped back from each other, a man approached Kylo and asked to have a word with him. He looked like he didn't want to leave my side.

"Where are you seated?" he asked.

"Table nine. You?"

"Table one. I'll catch up with you later," he said. "And thank you for the dance."

I smirked. "It wasn't like you gave my any choice. Enjoy the rest of your evening, Mr. Ren." 

For the rest of the night, Kylo and I didn't cross paths. But that didn't mean my eyes lost track of him at any point. He was busy; everyone in the room wanted a piece of him. Which was probably for the best, since the piece I seemed to want of him wouldn't be the wisest business decision. Still, our gazes caught a few times, and we exchanged what I thought were flirty, private smiles. 

When the coffee came out, I knew that it was time for me to make my exit. Three thirty would roll around soon enough. I scanned the room for Kylo, figuring I'd wave goodbye, but he was engrossed in a conversation with a group of men who all looked old enough to be his dad. I weighted the right business etiquette---did I go over and interrupt him to say goodnight, or simply leave? Undecided, I picked up my purse and said my goodbyes at my own table.

When I was done, I looked back at where Kylo had been talking, but he was no longer there. I figured fate had decided to handle things for me. Though when I turned from my table, I crashed directly into a hard body.

I backed up. "Sorry. Oh...it's you."

"You sound disappointed. Would you have preferred to walk into someone else?"

I laughed. "No. I was going to come over and say goodnight, but then you disappeared."

"I guess I beat you to it. I'll walk out with you. I was just heading out myself." 

He hadn't looked like he was getting ready to leave a few minutes ago. Nevertheless, Kylo put his hand on the small of my back and escorted me out of the ballroom. Outside, I took out my phone.

"Did you drive?" he asked.

"No. I Ubered so I could have a glass of wine."

"I have a car. I'll drop you off."

"That's not necessary."

"I insist."

A minute later, a sleek black, stretch limo pulled around. Apparently, him having a car meant a chauffeured one. The uniformed driver got out and went to open the back door, but Kylo waved him off and opened it for me instead.

"Thank you, Kylo." 

I slid across the backseat to make room for Kylo. The rear of the limo was spacious enough to hold ten people, at least. Yet when he climbed in and joined me, it suddenly felt very small. I was hyperaware of his thigh brushing against mine. As we started to move, I looked forward, but sensed Kylo's eyes on me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"You were staring at me."

He looked back and forth between my eyes. "What's your address?"

For some crazy reason, I debated giving it to him. Kylo must have seen the conflict written on my face and chuckled. "The driver needs it in order to take you home, Rey. I wasn't inviting myself over."

"Oh, right. Of course."

Feeling like a total idiot, I spouted off my address. Kylo leaned forward and relayed it to the driver. When he settled back into his seat, his leg now firmly pressed against mine. 

"So, tell me something about you, Rey Kenobi."

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything."

"Okay..." I thought about it. "I've had four promotions within First Order Industries over the last nine years."

"Tell me something that I don't know."

I arched a brow. "You've already looked me up."

"How else would I have decided to give you your job back?"

I shifted in my seat to face him. "I'll tell you what. I'll tell you something about me that you don't know, if you promise to answer a question for me honestly."

He nodded. "I think I can do that." 

It's not easy to come up with a little-known fun-fact about yourself when you're under pressure, but I did my best. "I can do a backflip from standing still."

Kylo smiled. "Interesting."

"Thank you. My turn. Did you decide to hire me back because of what I looked like?"

"Truth?"

"Well, that would be nice, yes."

I watched the wheels in his head turn. "If I say yes, that could be sexist and inappropriate based on our work relationship."

I leaned over to him and lowered my voice. "It'll be our little secret."

He chuckled and shook his head. "I decided to hire you back because you have some balls, giant ones, I should add and don't put up with shit from people like Dameron. I respect that a great deal."

"Oh. Okay." As screwed up as it was, my shoulders slumped a bit. 

Kylo leaned in to me and whispered, "The fact that you're gorgeous is just an added bonus."

If I were a peacock, my feathers would surely have fanned. I smiled. "Thank you, Kylo. My turn again. Tell me something about you that I don't know."

I liked that he seemed to actually give it some thought, when he could've rattled off some business accomplishment. Instead, he said, "I'm one of three children. We were all adopted from different families after being foster children."

"Oh, wow. That's really personal. I feel like I owe you more than a backflip now." 

Kylo's eyes dropped to my lips before returning to meet my gaze. "I'll take whatever you can give me, Rey." 

There were a million things I could've shared with him---that I have a scar on my torso from a bicycle accident when I was seven years-old, that I sleep with the light on because I don't like to be alone in the dark....hell, I could have even shared my bra size with him. Yet I had to go and share the most screwed up thing about me instead.

"My father is in prison for killing my mother."

Kylo's smile immediately fell. But while it affected him and quickly changed the mood, there was no sign of a surprise in his face. I blew out a stream of air and closed my eyes.

"You already knew that, too, didn't you?"

He nodded. "I pulled your file. We do extensive background checks on all of our employees..."

I forced a consolatory smile. "Of course you do." 

Kylo bumped his shoulder with mine. "But it still counts. I greatly appreciate you sharing that with me." 

Thanks to my big-fat-mouth, the fun mood had been transformed into a rather gloomy one. Though a thought popped into my head that might change that real quick. "So, if you pulled my file, does that mean you watched the _offending video_ of me, too?"

Kylo cleared his throat and looked forward. "I had to see what I was dealing with, Rey." 

I watched him for a second. He looked slightly uncomfortable with the direction that I'd taken the conversation, which only made me want to take it further down that path. Leaning in slightly, my voice registered lower. "Did you watch it more than once?"

Kylo struggled a moment. He looked relieved when his cell-phone rang. Pulling it from his pocket, he read the name flashing on the front screen. "Excuse me. I have to take this right quick." He swiped. "What's going on?"

I heard a woman's voice on the other end, but couldn't quite make out exactly what she was saying. 

"Hold on, hold on, slow down. How long ago did he leave?" The woman spoke louder. She sounded really upset. "Alright, I'm nearby. Don't leave the house. I'll find him." He swiped to end the call and leaned forward to speak to the driver. "Get off at the next exit. Make a right cross on Cross Bay and a slight left on Singleton."

"Yes, sir."

Kylo blew out a jagged breath. He frowned. "I'm sorry, Rey. We need to make a quick detour." 

"Is everything okay?"

He shook his head. "My grandfather has dementia. He's still in the early stages, but sometimes he takes off. My grandmother can't handle him anymore by herself, but they also won't let anyone help until things blow up. It's the third time he's gone missing in the last two months."

"I'm sorry. That must me tough for you to deal with."

"It wouldn't be happening if they'd let the alarm installer do the job that I hired him to do when he showed up at their house the other day. But they won't even let me have someone put in a monitor so my grandmother could be alerted to a door opening while she's sleeping."

The driver got off at the exit and made the turns Kylo had instructed him to make. Then Kylo directed him into the side streets of a pretty exclusive area. The homes were all set back on sprawling front lawns, and one house was bigger than the next. He told the driver to slow down and put on his bright's.

"This is their house. He usually takes the same path every single time. Go to the end of the road and take a left and a quick right. Follow the winding path down to the water."

"You sound like you have a pretty good idea where he's heading," I said.

Kylo looked out the windows, searching as he spoke. "He always goes tot he same place every time."

A few minutes later, I spotted someone walked along the side of the road. "There!" I pointed. "I see someone up ahead."

Kylo let out a deep breath. "Yeah, that's him." He then instructed the driver to pull up behind him slowly, and he jumped out of the car before it had even rolled to a complete stop.

I watched the interaction between the two men through the front window of the limo. Kylo's grandfather was dressed in a brown bathrobe and slippers. His gray hair was disheveled, and he turned around, seeming confused when the headlights caught his attention. But his entire face lit up as he shielded his eyes and got a look at the man stalking his way. He definitely recognized his grandson. He opened his arms wide and waited as a tuxedoed and clearly frustrated Kylo approached. 

I couldn't help but smile when Kylo gave in and let the old man swamp him in a hug. The two of them spoke for a minute, and then Kylo led him back to the limousine. Kylo helped his grandfather climb in first. The man smiled at me warmly as he took a seat.

"Well, aren't you very pretty."

Kylo got in and pulled the door shut. He shook his head. "Don't let the charm fool you, Rey. He's a dirty old man."

Kylo's grandfather laughed and winked at me. "He exaggerates. I'm not that old."

"You have really got to stop disappearing like this, Pops. It's almost midnight and grandmother was going ballistic over the phone just now."

"I needed to see Leilani." 

"This late at night?"

"Hey, a man needs to see his girl when he needs to see his girl."

Kylo sighed. "I'll tell you what, Pops, I'll take you to Leilani, but you have to agree to let me put an alarm on the house tomorrow. You worry Grams when you disappear like this."

Kylo's grandfather folded his arms over his chest. He reminded me of a little boy who was told he couldn't have dessert until he ate all of his vegetables. "Fine."

Kylo ran his hand through his hair and turned to me. "Do you mind if we make another stop? It's just down the road." 

"Of course not. Whatever you need to do."

"Thank you." He leaned forward to speak to the driver. "Head down to Castaway Marina, please." 


	12. Chapter 12

Leilani wasn't a woman. She was a boat. A gorgeous sailboat, actually. Kylo helped his grandfather board and then held out his hand to me.

"Thank you," I said as I stepped onto the back deck. 

His grandfather disappeared into the cabin immediately. "He's going to put on the Frank Sinatra, just a head's up. Sometimes he forgets his wife. Sometimes he wanders off and gets lost. But he never forgets about this boat or Frank."

I looked around the wide back seating area. "I can see why. This boat is incredible."

"Thank you. Pops built it almost sixty-years ago. He gave it to me as a gift on my twenty-first birthday."

"Oh, that's a really special birthday gift."

"He built it as a sample, to use it to sell boats and take orders when he started his boat-manufacturing business. He borrowed the money from a loan shark who would have broken his legs if he didn't get his money back. But he sold more than he could possibly build the first time he unveiled it at a boat show." Kylo laughed. "The loan shark's grandson actually has the newest model, and Pops play cards with the shark, who live sin assisted living now."

I looked at the logo on the side of the boat. "I didn't realize your family owned Ren Craft. I don't know too much about boats, but those are really beautiful. I see them in movies every once in a while."

Kylo shook his head. "My family doesn't own it anymore. Well, we have a chunk of stock from when it was sold, but it's been a public company of stock from when it was sold, but it's been a public company for a long time. Pops stayed on to run it after the sale, but he retired ten years ago after he made sure the new management was just as passionate about boat building as he is. He and my grandmother, Padme used to have a big boat over at the marina down the road, but they put it in storage for a few years back, after he was diagnosed. This one is really special to him, and he likes to come and visit her from time-to-time."

I smiled. "That's understandable."

Frank Sinatra started to play through the speakers, and a minute later Pops came out from the cabin. He had a box of cigars in one hand and a lit one in the other. His robe hung open, revealing a white T-shirt and white boxers.

"Pops, why don't you tie your robe?"

Pops then handed Kylo the box and pointed his cigar at me. "You look like that actress..." He snapped his fingers a few times, trying to recall. "....oh what's her name---you know the one?" _Snap. Snap._ "....the one with the big..." I thought I knew where he was going with this. But then he snapped a few more times and shouted. "The one with the big _balls_!"

Kylo and his grandfather went hysterical with laughter. I had no idea what the hell they were cracking up about, but watching them made me smile anyway. I also noticed how different Kylo looked when he was relaxed and had a genuine smile. He seemed so much younger, so much less intimidating.

Kylo was still chuckling when he was explained what was so funny. "A couple of years ago, I took Pops to the store to get new shoes. He'd just started to struggle with his memory, and he wanted shoes with support soles, and he couldn't remember the words _support soles_. For some odd reason, he thought the word he was searching for was balls---so he yelled that he wanted _balls_ at the top of his lungs." He wiped tears from his eyes. "The salesperson had a good laugh, too, and from then on, Pops started to fill his words he can't remember with balls. It's interesting because he can always remember _balls_ , but not the word that he's searching for. Anyway, it cracks us up every damn time."

I'd thought being near cocky, confident, handsome Kylo was dangerous, but seeing how sweet he was with his grandfather and how much he cherished their good times, made my heart swell in my chest.

Pops snapped his fingers a few more times. He seemed to get stuck on certain things. "Who the heck does she look like? She's tall....I don't remember her name, though."

"She looks like a younger version of grandmother, Pops. Remember, she used to be an actress back in the day?" Kylo studied my face and winked. "Excepts she's not as tall, and Rey is much prettier."

"Yeah, that's it--and hey, don't you say that about your grandmother or I'll swat your behind!" Pops scolded. "You might be thirty-five years old, but I ain't having that kind of talk. But still great balls on that one."

I'd been told that I resembled several different actresses from the golden-years of Hollywood a few times over the tears, but it had never made me blush as badly before. The three of us sat at the back of the boat for a while. Pops kept us amused with stories about when he'd first started building boats and all the trial and error that went into it. 

It was pretty amazing how far his memory stretched back, yet he would sometimes forget who family members were or where he even was. At one point, he stood and announced he was going to go listen to his baby purr.

"He likes to listen to the engine," Kylo explained. He blew a ring of smoke from the cigar he'd lit a few minutes ago and held it up. "I think he comes for these more than anything these days. My grandmother won't let him smoke in the house anymore---not since he lit one and walked away and the rug caught on fire." 

"That's just as well. They're not good for you. And I never understood the overall appeal anyway. You don't even inhale. I always thought they were kind of phallic symbol men like to flaunt."

Kylo examined his cigar and grinned. "Glad that I got the extra-thick Cohiba now."

"Seriously, what's the appeal with cigars?"

"It's more about the moment it forces you to take. Sitting out here without this cigar in my hand, I'd probably take out my phone and scroll after a few minutes---or get up and do something around the boat. But a good cigar causes me to sit back and take a minute, reflect on my day or the beauty around me." His eyes roamed my face, and his gaze heated. "There's a lot to appreciate at the moment."

Rather than squirm under his scrutiny, I opted to retake control. He had the cigar in the hand opposite me, so I leaned over him and plucked it from his fingers. 

"Show me how to do this stupid thing." I raised the smoldering cancer tick to my lips.

Kylo arched a brow. "You're going to smoke my cigar?"

"Does that bother you?"

A dirty grin tugged at the corner of his lips. "Of course not. You're welcome to wrap your lips around my Cohiba." I rolled my eyes, but a shiver moved through me, even though there was no breeze. "Now hold it up to your lips."

"Okay."

"Now, pretend you're sucking through a straw. But don't inhale. Just take the smoke into your mouth and then blow it out. Don't pull the air in deep from your diaphragm." 

I did what he instructed---or at least I thought I did. But after I inhaled, I inadvertently swallowed some of the smoke and started to cough. Kylo chuckled. "I told you not to inhale."

I sputtered. "Apparently that's easier said that done." I held out the cigar, and he took it back.

We sat together in quiet after that for a while. Kylo kept his eye on Pops, who had his head buried in the engine on the other side of the boat while he tinkered. I looked around at the other boats and the marina. 

"You must get some really beautiful sunsets here."

"I do."

"Probably romantic. Do you bring all your conquests here to get them in the mood?"

Kylo brought his cigar to his mouth and wrapped his lips around the end. I was slightly turned on by the sight, especially knowing my lips had been there earlier. He puffed four or five times, then blew out a thick cloud of white smoke. 

"If by _conquests_ you mean _dates_ , then the answer is no. I don't bring them here to _get them in the mood_."

"Why not?"

He shrugged. "I just don't."

A loud slam brought our attention back to Pops. Kylo jumped up, but it had only been his grandfather letting the engine hatch door drop. Pops brushed his hands together. "Still just as sexy as the day she purred life for the very first time. The carburetor could probably use an adjustment though. You'll get better fuel efficiency with a little tweaking."

"I'll take care of it. Thanks, Pops."

"You two kids ready to go? I need my beauty sleep."

"I'm ready whenever you are." Kylo stood and attempted to help his grandfather up the gangplank and over to the dock, though Pops wasn't having it. He swatted Kylo's hand away and climbed off the boat on his own. Kylo and I exchanged smiles, and I let him help me off the boat. The three of us walked together back to the waiting car. It was a short ride back to Kylo's grandparent's house, and Pops climbed out of the car as soon as we stopped. Kylo hopped out to follow him.

When he got to the front door of the house, Pops turned back and yelled, "Goodbye, Padme!"

I poked my head out of the car door. "Later, Balls!" 

Pops spoke to Kylo, although I could still hear him. "Boy, she's quite a looker, ain't she?"

Kylo smiled. "That she is, Pops. That she is." 

The two men disappeared inside, and a few minutes later, a woman I assumed was Kylo's grandmother opened the door again. She hugged Kylo, and he waited until the door was closed, then double-checked to make sure it was locked before coming back over to the car.

He climbed inside and shut the door. "Sorry about that, Rey."

"Oh no. Don't be. Your grandfather is a pistol. That was fun, and your boat is beautiful."

"Thank you."

"Do you get to use it often?"

Kylo hesitated before finally answering. "Every single day. I live on it."

"Really? That's very cool." I raised an eyebrow. "But you said that you don't bring dates on the boat."

"I don't. I also have an apartment downtown in Manhattan. Some people use a house as their primary residence and a boat for fun. I do the opposite."

Hmmm...that's interesting. We talked the rest of the short drive back to my place. Our conversation was casual, but it was impossible to feel completely relaxed near Kylo. He just took up too much space---both literally on the seat next to me and metaphorically inside my head. The driver slowed as we turned down my street.

I pointed to the tall apartment building, suddenly glad that I loved in a nice neighborhood. "Well, this is me."

The limousine pulled to the curb, and the casual and relaxed mood abruptly came to a halt. It felt like the end of a date with an awkward goodbye, rather than saying goodnight to the CEO of the company that I worked for. I put my hand on the door latch and spoke really quickly. 

"Than you for the ride home."

Kylo leaned forward to his driver. "Give me a few minutes, George. I'm going to walk Ms. Kenobi to the door." 

"That's not necessary," I said.

Kylo reached and put his hand over mine, which was still holding the door handle, and pushed open the car doo. He climbed out first and extended his hand. "It's necessary."

With his hand on my lower back, Kylo guided me ahead of him up the narrow walkaway. I felt the heat from his palm scorching my skin and wondered if it was my body or his that was on fire. Maybe it was the connection between us.

My apartment was on the third floor, and he insisted on riding the elevator up with me, too. At my door, Kylo shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. "Thanks again for the ride," I said.

"Of course."

"Okay....well....you have a good night, Kylo." I did some sort of a curt, clumsy wave and fumbled to open the lock. Stepping inside, I looked back and smiled awkwardly one last time before shutting the door. Then I proceeded to lean my head against it and bang a few times. "God, you're such a doofus around that man."

Sighing, I walked into the kitchen. But the bell stopped me after a few steps. Kylo must've forgotten something. I walked back and checked the peephole before opening the door. 

I smiled playfully. "Miss me already?"

Kylo shook his head and frowned. He looked like he wasn't very happy to be standing where he was. Blowing out an audible breath, he said. "Go out with me on Friday night." 

" _Uh.._...you sort of look like you're asking me something dreadful."

He raked a hand through his hair. "Sorry, I know it's probably not the smartest idea, but I'd really like to take you out."

I nibbled on my bottom lip at these words. "Is it not the smartest idea because I work for you, or not the smartest idea because we met by me sending you a drunk email to tell you off?" 

Kylo smiled. "Both."

I liked his honesty. And his jawline. And that tiny little dimple on the left side of his cheek that I'd just noticed for the first time. In fact, I couldn't think straight when gazing at his handsome face. So I looked down to gather my thoughts, but all that did was remind me of the other things I liked about him: his broad shoulders, narrow waistline....Damn, _big feet_ , too. Yet even with all that beautiful packaging, I still wasn't sold on him completely. 

Though my reasoning wasn't the same as his. Kylo was wary because I worked for him. I was wary because something told me that this man could eat me alive.

After inwardly, debating the pros and cons, I looked up at him. "How about drinks? We see how it goes?"

"If that's what you would prefer."

I exhaled. "I think so."

"Then drinks it is. I'll pick you up at seven."

"Could we have them on the Leilani?" I asked. "Maybe watch the sunset?"

The muscle in Kylo's jaw flexed. "My apartment overlooks the harbor and faces west. The terrace gets a beautiful sunset. Or there's a nice bar down at the pier."

"I'd prefer your boat, rather than your porn palace." 

Kylo's lip twitched. "Porn palace?"

"You said you use your boat to live and your apartment just for fun."

His dark eyes roamed my face. "If I say yes, is it a date?"

I wanted so badly to say _yes_ to him in the worst way. I was incredibly attracted to him physically, but I also found his direct, no-bullshit attitude a major turn on. Not to mention, he'd let down his guard around his grandfather and shown there was more to him than the gruff exterior. Yet....something about him still terrified me. 

I looked him dead in the eyes. "Do you want to sleep with me, or do you want to actually take me out on a date?"

Kylo smiled. "Yes."

I laughed and shook my head. "I appreciate the honesty. But can I think about it?"

His cocky smile slowly fell. "Of course."

"Thank you. Have a goodnight, Kylo."

I shut the door feeling deflated, but inside I knew that I'd done the right thing. Nothing about Kylo Ren was simple. Especially after the fact that he was my boss. 


	13. Chapter 13

"Mr. Ren?" My assistant buzzed into my office. "You have a Rey Kenobi on line one. Would you like me to tell her that you're about to go into a meeting?"

I stood with a file in my hand, ready to head to a ten o'clock meeting, but I sat back down. "No, I'll take it right quick. Tell Mr. Smith that I'll be a few minutes late and to go ahead and start without me." I tossed the file onto the desk, picked up the receiver and leaned back in my chair. "Ah, Ms. Rey Kenobi, what a pleasant surprise to finally get a call from you. It's been three days since I last heard from you. You _must've_ had a lot to think about."

"I'm _really_ sorry that I haven't called you back sooner than this. I've been _super_ busy. But I wanted to get back to your dinner invitation, or rather our discussion about having drinks."

"Okay..."

"You seem like a really nice guy and all---"

I sat up in my chair and cut her off. "Let's finish this conversation over lunch, okay?"

"Uh...well, can't we just--"

I interrupted for a second time. "No. I have a meeting now. Be in my office at one o'clock. I'll have lunch waiting for you."

"But---"

"We'll talk then."

She sighed. "Fine."

On my way to my meeting, I stopped at Jannah's desk. "Can you please order lunch for me and Ms. Rey Kenobi for one o'clock?"

"Of course, sir. What would you like me to order?"

"Whatever you think sounds good, Jannah, is fine with me and I'm sure will be fine with Ms. Kenobi. She doesn't strike me as much of a picky eater."

"Do you want salads, sandwiches? Is she a vegan?"

"How the hell would I know? Just order us a few things."

Jannah's forehead wrinkled. "Okay."

"And if I'm late getting here, just tell her to start eating without me."

"The mail just came. Would you like me to put today's letter on your desk?"

"Shred it," I bit out.

When my meeting finally broke at five after one, I was impatient. Some people took ten minutes to dance around and spit out one damn fact. For the last hour, I'd found it hard to focus, too busy wondering if my next appointment was going to stand me up. The tension in my shoulders dissipated as I walked into my office and found Rey snooping through my things. 

I shut the door behind me. "Are you looking for something in particular?"

She turned with a framed photo in her hand. "Is this you and your grandfather?"

I walked over. The photo had been on the credenza since I'd moved into this office nearly eighteen months ago, but I hadn't really looked at it since. Pops and I were fishing off the side of the Leilani. I must've been about seven or eight years-old at the time.

"He caught a thrasher shark that day. I caught only a sunburn." Rey smiled and set the picture frame back down. Lunch was set up at the small seating area, rather than at my desk. I held out my hand. "Please, have a seat. I'm a few minutes late, and the food is probably getting cold."

Rey sat down on the couch, and I took the seat across from her. "Are there more people joining us?" she asked, looking down at all the other trays of covered food. "There are at least six different lunches here."

"I didn't know what you liked so I had my assistant order a little bit of everything."

Her face immediately softened. "Thank you. I'm not picky. But I'll take this cheeseburger, if you don't mind. I'm starving."

"Take whatever you like."

I grabbed a turkey sandwich and wasted no time to getting straight to the point. I preferred to discuss business first, so I could actually enjoy my food after. "So, you were about to give me the whole _you're a nice guy speech_ over the phone earlier....or as I like to call it, the brush-off speech. It's one that I confess, I don't hear too often."

"Because no one says no to you?"

"No, because I'm not really that nice of a guy."

Rey picked up a French fry and pointed it at me. "Well, that in itself is a reason on why I probably shouldn't be having dinner or drinks with you, isn't it?"

I leaned over and bit the fry from her fingers. "Probably. But I'd like a chance to change your mind anyway. I get the feeling you're wary of me because I'm not being forthright with you. But I'm in a difficult position here. I can't say whatever is on my mind because you work for me, and I don't want you to feel pressured by me." 

"I don't feel pressured by you as a boss. Even though you did _bark_ at me to come up here for lunch. I somehow know my job isn't at stake, and it's just you being, well... _.you._ If I'm being honest, your barking felt real, and I'd rather see that then the hesitant one who is trying to be appropriate."

"So you would prefer me to be inappropriate and barking, is that it?"

She laughed. "I would _prefer_ you to just be you and not filter in whatever it is you're thinking, Ren."

My eyes locked with hers. I've found that often a woman thinks she wants unfiltered honesty, but it turns out not to be the case once she hears it. "Are you sure about that, Rey?"

"I'm positive."

I reached over and took her hand. "Good. Then let's be honest here. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you in days. Hell, ever since you told me off in that email. You asked me the other night if I just wanted to sleep with you or not? I absolutely want to be inside you and if you want to get really down to the gritty-truth I'd lock that door in a heartbeat and take you on my desk right now and fuck the dog-shit out of you, if you were game."

She swallowed hard at my words. Her reaction to them was nothing short of what I had expected. It was just me being brutally honest with her and I've never lied to her so far and I wanted to keep it that way for as long as we were together or at least in each other's presence. She deserved to at least know _exactly_ who she was dealing with here. I'm not a sugar-coater. That's not who I am or planned to be. If she wanted me, this was the part of me she was going to get. One way or another. This was it. 

But at the same time, I didn't want my words to make her run for the hills. I liked her.... _a lot,_ which is more to say than from the other women I've been involved with in the past. Rey Kenobi was special to me in more ways than one and I wasn't ready to give her up....yet. 

"But if you'd like to have drinks with me and watch the sunset on my boat, then I'm up for that, too. I haven't had anything but a sexual relationship with a woman in over seven years, and to be candid, I'm not entirely sure what I'm capable of anymore. But if you'd like to start with just drinks, we can most definitely see where it goes from there."

Rey started to shake her head. I couldn't get a read on the surprised look on her face---whether it was a good surprise or one that confirmed she should run the other way. 

"Was that supposed to be you pleading your case for me to go out with you, Kylo? Because you basically just told me that you suck at relationships and might just only want to have sex with me. And oh, _by the way,_ if I'm up for banging on your desk, that's an available option, too."

"That depends. Did it work?"

She laughed. "Oh my God. I think I've lost my mind. Because I think it might have."

"Good. Then shut up and eat your lunch because your food is getting cold."

Rey was still laughing and shaking her head as she bit into her cheeseburger. I'm glad that I wasn't the only one that had started to lose his mind. Especially since watching her sink her teeth into her lunch made me salivate at the thought of sinking my own teeth into her tender flesh. With the important stuff out of the way, we managed to have a relaxed meal. We talked about work, our routines, and she asked if my grandfather had attempted any escapes again---which I liked.

She was thoughtful, and her interest seemed very genuine. Too soon, Rey's phone buzzed. She had a reminder set on her phone, and it made me think of how I had Jannah call to get me out of stuff. I eyed her cell phone with loathing and disgust. 

"Is that a made-up appointment to help get you out of here?" I asked.

She brushed a loose bit of hair away from her face. "No. I really wish it were. I have to run out to meet my contractor. I'm building a house just outside the city. Construction is supposed to finish in a few weeks, but my builder said there might be some sort of delay, and he wants to discuss plans."

"That doesn't sound good."

"No, it definitely doesn't. Especially since my roommate is moving out in two weeks when she gets married, and our lease is up in just a couple of months. By then, I'll be a sitting duck."

"I have a good real estate agent who can help you locate something temporary if you need it, Rey. I'm may be an asshole sometimes, but I'm not about to let you become homeless." 

"Thank you for the concern, Kylo. You do have a heart under that tough skin of yours. I would've never thought it possible," She teased as she squinted at me. "So is that something you do on a regular basis?"

"What?"

"Make up appointments to get out of a meeting faster."

I smirked. "Occasionally." 

Just then, my desk phone buzzed, and Jannah came over the intercom. "Mr. Ren? Ben arrived a few minutes early. He just ran into the bathroom."

Rey raised an eyebrow. "That was a total coincidence. Ben is an actual person. I'm sure he'll be busting in here when he gets back if I'm not out. So you'll get to meet him. He has a button on his ass that makes him pop up after more than ten seconds of waiting if he doesn't have a video game in his hands."

"Is Ben an adult or a child?"

"Child. Who thinks he's an adult. He's my....well, we spend time together every Wednesday afternoon. It's part of a program that my mother started nearly twenty years ago for foster kids. It's sort of like a Big Brothers, Big Sisters program, except all the kids in it are in foster care and all of the Bigs are former foster children. Bigs make a commitment to mentor a Little from five to twenty-five. Foster kids get bounced around a lot, and having the same Big for years gives them consistency." 

She shook her head. "That's awesome, Kylo. But there are really two sides to you, aren't there? You should have just told me that story the other night. I probably would have said yes to dinner if you had."

I chuckled. " _Now_ you decide to tell me."

Rey smiled. "But I'm also glad you didn't make up an appointment to ditch me."

"Likewise." 

"I really should get going anyway. We both have things to do." Rey stood. "Thank you for lunch. Next time you don't need to go overboard and order so much food. I'm not picky. I'll eat practically anything."

"Glad to know that you're planning on for there to _be_ a next time. Gives me a sense of hope that you _actually_ really do like me, at least to some degree. I'll pick you up Friday at seven?"

"I'll come to you."

"I'm capable of picking you up. Besides, I already know where you live."

She smiled. "And I'm fully capable of looking after myself as well as driving myself." 

I shook my head. "You're always a pain in the ass, aren't you? I'll see you Friday at 7 p.m. sharp at the marina."

Rey picked up my empty food container and hers from the table and shoved them into a bag. She held the garbage out to me. "Oh. And I should probably tell you I don't kiss on the first date either. It's just not my style."

I took the handle of the bag, along with her hand and used it to yank her closer to me. God, she was so beautiful up close. "That's awfully good to know beforehand. Because you should know something... _.this_ was our first date, Rey. I'll see you Friday." 

~*****~

  
"I don't want the alarm connected to the damn police station. I don't like the sound of guns in the house." The installer looked at me, and I motioned for him to just keep working as I guided Grams into the kitchen to have a nice, long talk. "Grans, if the alarms goes off and you don't hear it, they'll know to go looking for Pops. I registered him with the police department, so they'll understand that it's more than likely a missing person and not a break-in they need to show up for with guns a-blazing."

She sat down. "I'm quite capable of taking care of him myself, Kylo."

The worse that Pops got, the harder things grew for her, too. She felt disabled herself for needing any help with her husband of over fifty years. I sat across from her and covered her hand with mine. 

And older, independent couple didn't view taking help much differently than a foster kid might---they didn't want to rely on anyone but themselves. Logical arguments don't work, because what they're fighting is emotional and not practical. So just like with Ben, I knew the best thing to do wasn't reason with my grandmother. She needed her emotions validated. 

"Look, I get that you don't _need_ any help, Grams. You could handle him all on your own. You have for years. But I _want_ to help you. If Mom were still here, she'd be moved in and sleeping on your bedroom floor to make sure Pops didn't wander off and get himself hurt. Letting me help Pops is for Mom and me. Not because you can't do it yourself."

Gram's eyes watered. I'd broken out the big guns mentioning Mom, but it was the truth, and we needed to get past her unwillingness. Unfortunately, things weren't going to be improving. 

She squeezed my hand and nodded. "Fine. But if I'm taking your help, there's some other things I could use a hand with." 

"You name it."

Ben busted into the kitchen, and Pops followed quickly behind him. "Look at this thing Pops just made. It's an electric chair!"

Oh great! More shit I'd have to explain to Ben's social worker at some point. In his retirement, my grandfather had taken up building replica miniature houses. All of his years as a wooden boat building had come in handy, and he'd spent the first two years of being home building an exact miniature replica of his and Gram's house, down to the bathroom fixtures and chipped bluestone in the front yard.

Ben and I visited Grams and Pops a lot, and he'd tried to get Ben interested in his little hobby. But being a typical eleven year-old, Ben thought making a dollhouse was boring as hell.

That is, until Pops started to work on an insanely _creepy_ dollhouse. The entire thing was a freak show of some weird-ass shit. But Pops and Ben had built every little bit of that freak show, and Ben had gotten pretty good with his woodworking skills. I took the miniature electric chair from Ben's hands and checked it out.

The details were pretty amazing, down to the tiny black leather wrist straps on the arms of the chair and what looked like a few drops of blood stained in the seat.

"It's great. But do me a favor and don't bring it home to your foster home. She already suspects that I might be a devil worshipper after you brought home that creepy miniature doll so you could work on mangling it."

"Fine." He rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Grams got up. "What can I make you to eat, Ben? How about a peanut butter and banana sandwich for a snack?"

He grinned broadly. "With no crust?"

Grams walked to the bread drawer and opened it. "People who eat crust can't be trusted."

Ben took a seat on a stool at the granite kitchen bar and propped his feet up on the one next to him. I quickly knocked them off. "Feet off the furniture. You _know_ better, Ben." 

Pops said that he was going to go take a nap, so I told him I'd tag along to check on the ceiling fan Grams had said wasn't working. When I came back to the kitchen a few minutes later, Grams and Ben were laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"You. In a Santa suit." Ben chuckled.

I swiped a piece of his peanut butter and banana sandwich from his plate and shoved it into my mouth. "What the heck are you talking about?"

Grams answered. "Earlier, when you were talking about how you like to help, you said you'd d anything that I needed, right?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Yeah. But why does the way you're asking me now feel like a trick question?"

Ben laughed. "Because she's gonna sucker you into playing Santa this weekend, instead of Pops."

I pointed a finger at Ben. "Watch your language there, boy."

"What did I say? Sucker? That's not even a bad word. I've heard you say far worse things in my presence." 

"I'm an adult, Ben."

"So? What's your point?"

"So you're not an adult, that's my point, Benjamin." 

Grams got up and took Ben's empty plate. "He does have a point, Kylo. If you want him to act a certain way, you need to mind your own set of rules."

Ben boasted a smug smile. The little shit knew I wouldn't argue with Grams. "Yeah, Ky. I only say bad words because I hear them from you first."

I made a dace that screamed bullshit. "My ass."

Ben pointed to me and looked over at Grams. "See, there he goes again!"

Grans sighed and turned on the sink to rinse Ben's plate. "Settle down there, boys."

The brat was just about eat the last bite of his sandwich when I quickly swiped it from his hand and popped it into my mouth. "Hey..." Ben whined.

I slowly grinned. "You heard the lady, Ben. Settle down now, kid."

Grams came back to the table. "Ky, I really do need to play Santa this weekend at the Padme's Place Christmas in July party. You know Pops usually does it. But I don't think he's up to it this year. Sometimes he forgets what he's doing, and I don't want him to scare any of the little kids."

"Ugh, can't you find someone else to do it, Grams?"

Grams frowned. "It's a family tradition now. I think it's only fair that it should be passed down to you."

Ben grinned from ear to ear. "Yeah, Ben. It's family tradition." 

The little shit was in rare form today. But I couldn't say no to my own grandmother. Even though I suspected I'd been set up from the get-go today. She's lured me into the conversation about doing things for her, just so I couldn't refuse. 

"Fine," I pouted. "But if any little kids pee on me, I'm telling you right now, next year the tradition will be passed on to Jyn's husband."

Grams walked over and cupped my cheeks. "Thank you so much, sweetheart. It means a lot to me."

Later in the evening, on the ride of Ben's house, he mentioned he was going up to San Bernardino next weekend so he wouldn't be at the Christmas in July festival this year. I glanced over at him and back to the road. 

"San Bernardino? What the heck are you doing there?" I knew of only one reason he might be making that trip, and I could only hope that I was wrong. 

"My mom's back in town. She's picking me up and taking me to visit my sister."

 _Shit!_ "Julie is taking you to see Kira?"

Ben frowned. "That's what my social worker said at least."


	14. Chapter 14

_11 years ago...._

"Don't let her drive. She was up all night again, you know?" Mom whispered as we sat down in the kitchen drinking coffee together.

"Yeah, I know. She was in the garage painting. She'll probably pass out in the car on the drive up. I won't let her behind the wheel." 

Kira had been living with us again for a few months---her fourth time back in four years. The foster care system had created a vicious cycle. Every time Kira would start to get settled in with us, they'd put her back with her mom---even though she never wanted to go at first. The once she was living with her mom again, she would fee responsible for taking care of her and not want to put her back into a mental health facility.

Things would eventually get really bad, and Kira would be removed and upset. She'd come back to our house, and it would take a few months for her to settle in again. Seven or eight months later, the entire circle jerk happened yet again. 

Broken system. Though, as of today, Kira was officially not part of the fucked-up world of foster care anymore. Because today was her eighteenth birthday. Unfortunately, the only thing she wanted for her birthday was to drive upstate and visit her sickly mom. Which was one of the reasons she'd been up all night painting again. She got anxious when there was anything to do with Julie, and painting soothed her whenever her mind couldn't rest. 

"Your dad and I were talking," Mom said. "We think maybe Kira should see a counselor, Kylo. Someone privately, outside of the social services system. She's had five different counselors since she first came here, and I think she would greatly benefit from some consistency. She's been thought a lot in such a short amount of time---the constant moves back and forth, being taken away from her mother, us moving from Big Bear Lake closer to New York because of all of my appointments, my being sick...."

Of course it was a lot, and she was right. Kira took Mom's ovarian cancer diagnosis just as badly as I did. I had no doubt in my mind at all that Kira should talk to someone on a regular basis.

But she'd been so looking forward to her eighteenth birthday mainly because the state couldn't force her to go see a shrink once a month anymore. To her, seeing a therapist of any kind meant she was crazy like her mother. 

"I just don't know, Mom. She's not going to want to go."

"If anyone can talk her into it, you can, sweetheart. You two are closer than brother and sister."

I frowned. I felt bad that we were still lying to my mother, and to everyone. But if my parents had known we were a couple when when we both fifteen, they might not have taken Kira back. The state definitely wouldn't have allowed it. Then as we got older, we didn't say anything at all because it was easier to have our own privacy. If mom knew we were together romantically, we'd never be allowed behind a closed door again---especially not with my little sister around.

"I'll see what I can do, mom."

Kira swept into the kitchen and sing-songed. "Good morning." 

She was fully of energy, even though she'd been up all night painting. It seemed she had two moods lately: up or down. There was no real in-between anymore. But I could understand it: she'd been through a lot for someone so young. 

"Happy birthday." Mom stood and brought Kira in for a hug. She cupped her cheeks, along with some hair. "Eighteen at last. Today brings you a lot of new freedom. You've spent time with us over the years because you had to, but I hope that you'll stay for many more now because you want to. You're part of this family, Kira."

"Thank you, Leia."

Mom sniffed and shook her head. "I don't want to ruin your birthday and get all emotional. So let me just give you your gifts." She turned around, took two wrapped boxes off the kitchen counter, and handed them both to Kira. "Happy birthday, sweetheart."

Kira thanked her and opened the first one. Her eyes lit up as she found a big set of expensive oil paints she always visited at the store. "Thank you so much! I've wanted these for so long! But they're so expensive! You really shouldn't have!"

"Kylo told me how much you admired them."

She opened the second box---stationery with the words Kira imprinted on it and tiny little red roses wrapped around her name. she ran her finger across the top.

"It's so beautiful."

"I figured you could use it to write to Kylo when he goes off to college in a few months."

Kira's eyes jumped to me, but then she smiled at my Mom. "Thank you. It's perfect. I love it."

Four years ago, when Kira moved back in with her mom the first time, she'd told me she would write to me every day that we couldn't be together. I'd thought she was just exaggerating, but the last I counted, I had over five-hundred letters. Some days she sent me three or four pages about her day, other days she'd just write a few sentences, and sometimes I'd get a poem or a picture she'd drawn. 

But she never missed a day. So the stationery was a great idea, though she wouldn't be using it when I went away to college. I'd decided to stay home. Yet another thing neither Kira nor I had mentioned to my mom yet. I looked at her watch.

"You ready to get going?"

"I am."

"You two be careful," Mom said. She turned to Kira. "Enjoy your visit with your mom."

If today was anything like the most days with Julie, there was about a fifty-fifty shot of that even happening. 

~*****~

A psychiatric center might be a hospital, but it's a hell of a lot different then the place you go when someone has a baby or something, or at least this one has. The white walls were bare, with no cheerful art or framed pictures to soften the hardness of the environment. Since the floor we were visiting at the Naboo Psychiatric Hospital was an adult-only wing, everyone was dressed casually, mostly in street clothes.

But a few people were milling around in pajamas, even thought it was the middle of the day. Julie, Kira's mother, wasn't in the activity center or any of the common areas.

We found her in her room, lying in bed in the fetal position with her eyes open. Her big belly was really showing now. Three months ago when she was admitted, we'd found our that Julie was four months pregnant. She'd been in the midst of a manic episode then, rambling on about all the plans she and the baby's father had. 

Though as far as I knew, the mystery man who had gotten her pregnant had never shown his face even once to check on her since her admission. And something told me that he never would. Julie's eyes acknowledged us as we walked in, but she didn't move once.

"Mom, how are you?"

Kira went to sit down on the bed. She brushed her mom's hair back the same way I'd seen my mom do to my sister a hundred times. Julie mumbled something incoherent. 

Kira leaned down and kissed her mother's cheek. "Your hair is nice and soft. Did you wash it today?"

More incoherent babbling, yet Kira went on like they were having an actual conversation. "Look, Kylo's with me." She pointed to where I stood near the door, and her mom's eyes followed along for a few seconds, but then Julie went right back to staring into space.

I wasn't sure what kind of drugs they were giving her, but she was only slightly more alert than catatonic. Or maybe they weren't giving her any. She was pregnant, after all. Kira got up, went around to the other side of her bed, and climbed in behind her mom to snugger her. "I missed you."

I blinked a few times as the scene before me brought back a flash of a memory. About six months ago, Kira had been sad when her mom hadn't called or shown up for their scheduled weekly visited again. 

After waiting all day on Sunday, Kira had climbed into bed and spent a few days there...lying in the fetal position. I'd thought she was just sulking and sad, and I had done my best to cheer her up--including spending hours snuggled in bed behind her, a lot she was doing to her mother now. That thought made me antsy. 

"I'm going to go for a walk---give you two some time alone."

Kira nodded. I grabbed my jacket and opened the door, but I glanced back over my shoulder one more time before leaving.

A fucked-up feeling settled into my chest as I thought about how much the two of them looked like Kira and me had a while back. Except Kira just had a lot to deal with. She wasn't sick like her mother was. 


	15. Chapter 15

I was so damn nervous. 

Kylo's boat was only a twenty-minute drive from my apartment, but I wanted to pick up something to bring with along with me, so I left an hour early. The liquor store pit stop only ate up a few minutes, so I arrived at the marina almost a half-hour before I was supposed to. I gave my name to the attendant at the booth, and he pointed out one of Kylo's assigned spots. I could see down the long dock that led to where his boat was parked.

There was a flurry of activity, people coming and going to their boats, and chairs set up where people sat on the dock and chatted with their neighbors. 

It seemed like a friendly community, and it made me wonder why Kylo didn't bring dates here. His boat was impressive, and the setting was definitely made for romance. I made a mental note to dig deeper into the no-dates-on-the-boat-zone, and I pulled down the mirror to check my makeup one last time. 

When I flicked it back up, I saw Kylo outside on the back of his boat. He was dressed casually, in a pair of shorts with an untouched short-sleeve button up and sunglasses. When he hopped over the back transom, I saw he had no shoes on.

An older man walked over to talk to him, and it gave me the chance to observe him outside of a work setting. God, he was so sexy. I'd always had a thing for a man in a well-fitted suit. The way they wore them gave off an air of power, but looking down the dock, I realized the suit had nothing to do with the air Kylo Ren gave off. He stood casually talking to the gentleman, yet there was something about the way he held himself--his feet planted wide, broad shoulders back, arms folded across his chest.

The man oozed confidence even with bare feet. With some guys, a good suit made the man. Not Kylo. He made the suit. I watched for a few minutes more while he finished his conversation with the man.

The he tightened some ropes and carried out a set of portable stairs and set them on the dock. The net time he went into the cabin, I took a deep breath and got out of the car.

His boat was docked next to last, probably thirty boats down at the far end of the marina. I'd made it about ten when he emerged from the cabin again. He caught sight of me right away and stood watching me making my way toward him. 

I became self-conscious about each solitary step. And whatever nerves had settled in the car came back with a mighty roar. Though I wouldn't let him see me stress. So I straightened my spine and added a little bounce to my walk that I knew would make the bottom of my sundress shimmy from side to side. I knew he wouldn't be able to resist, and I was right. He couldn't.

"Hey." I stood on the dock next to the boat, and Kylo offered a hand so I could board using the stairs he'd set out. "Well, these certainly make it easier. Especially with these wedges."

Kylo didn't let go of my hand once I was safely onboard. "Had to dust off those stairs. I never use them."

"I could have just climbed on like we did the other night. You didn't have to dig them out. I'm sorry if I'm a little early. I wasn't sure how long it would take to get here, and I wanted to stop and pick this up." I handed him the bottle of wine.

"Thank you. I was wondering how long you were going to sit in the car and watch me."

My eyes widened. _Shit!_ He'd seen me. "I wasn't checking you out, if that's what you think. I was just really early and didn't want to impose."

He pushed his sunglasses down on his nose so I could see his soft-brown eyes. "That's too bad. You're more than welcome to check me out whenever you want. It would only be fair seeing as I've been checking you out the second you got out of that car of yours, as well as I won't be able to stop looking at you in that dress."

I'd changed three times and settled in a spaghetti strap white and navy sundress with a V-neck. It showed off more cleavage than I normally put on display, but my roommate had talked me into wearing it tonight. Now I was glad that I'd glistened to her. 

"Come on, I'll give you the grand tour and open the wine."

I followed Kylo into the cabin. We'd stayed outside the other night with his grandfather, so it was the first time I was seeing the inside and where he lived. The room we entered was a big living room. It was a wraparound couch, two matching chairs, a long credenza, and a big-screen television. The living room I had shared with Rose was probably the same size.

"It's easy to forget that you're on a boat in here, isn't it?" He pointed to the wall-to-wall windows. "There are two different shades that come down. One blocks out some of the sun and keeps it cool, but you can still see outside through them, and the other totally blacks out the outside. You can't tell if it's day or night when those are down, much less where you are."

I followed Kylo into the kitchen and was surprised to find it was almost as big as the living room. "I don't know why, but I expected a small galley kitchen, not something like this."

"It was smaller originally. There used to be a bedroom up here, but I took out the wall and opened it up. I really like to cook."

I raised a brow. "You cook?"

"Why does that surprise you?"

"I don't know. I guess it just seems so domestic. I took you more for the type that went out to fancy restaurants and grabbed takeout."

"My mom liked too cook, she always cooked a big meal every single night. The kitchen was the center of the house growing up. We had foster kids coming and going, and she used cooking to get us all together at least once a day." 

I smiled. "That's really nice."

"I did pick up food tonight on my way home, but not because I can't cook. I was running late, and you didn't want a date, so I figured that meant I shouldn't sneak in a full meal."

Kylo showed me the rest of the boat; a small bedroom downstairs that he'd turned into an office, a guest bedroom, two bathrooms, and then he opened the door to a giant master bedroom. "Wow, this is huge."

I took a few steps in and looked around. The room had dark wood and a king-size bed with plush navy linens. One of the walls was covered in black and white photos of boats sailing on the water with matte black frames. I walked over and looked at some of them.

"These are beautiful, Kylo. Did you take them?"

"No. They're all the different models my grandfather built over the years. The photos are all of the prototypes taking their first sail."

I then pointed to the one in the very center. "Is this, this boat?"

Kylo stood close behind me, close enough that I felt the heat emanating from his body. "It is. That was taken back in 1965."

"Crazy. I can't get over how old this boat is. If you told me it was a year old, I'd believe it." 

"That's what people loved about his models. They have a timeless quality about them."

I looked closer at the photo. "There's no name on the back yet."

"The showroom samples and prototypes were never named. It's bad luck to change a boat's name. So it was up to the first owner to name her." 

I turned around, and suddenly the big room seemed so much smaller. Kylo didn't back up. "Her? Is a boat always a her?"

He nodded. "Pops would say sailors of the past were almost always men and often dedicated their ships to female goddesses who would protect their vessel in rough seas." Kylo then brushed a hair from my shoulder. "But I think they're women because they're high maintenance."

"High maintenance, huh? Well, you live on a boat, so you must not really mind high maintenance, then?"

His eyes dropped to my lips, and he smiled. "Apparently high maintenance is my type. Easy is too boring." I thought he was going to lean in and kiss me, and in the moment, I would very easily have let him, but instead his eyes caught my gaze. "Come on. I promised you a drink and a sunset."

We went out to the front of the boat, and Kylo set up a tray of all different finger foods he'd bought at the market. It was enough food for three meals. "Do you always buty enough food for ten people? I'm beginning to sense a pattern here between lunch the other day and all of this."

"The pattern is wanting to make sure you're taken care of, not being wasteful."

I smiled. "Are you always this accommodating to your dates?"

"Considering you're the first woman sitting on boat for a sunset, I'd have to say no."

I tilted my head. "What's your story, Kylo? You said the other day you haven't had a relationship in over seven years. Is it because you work a lot?"

Kylo seemed to consider his words. "Partly. I do work a lot. Contrary to your initial opinion of me--where you assumed I was a spoiled silver-spoon fed who didn't work---I put in a ten-to-twelve hour day at the office most weekdays and half day on Saturday." 

"I'm never going to live that email down, am I?"

He shook his head. "Not likely."

I sighed. "Okay, Mr. Workaholic. So let's back up then. I asked you if you hadn't had a relationship in seven years because you're busy, and your answer was _partly._ What's the other part? For some reason, I feel like you're leaving out an important piece of the story here."

Kylo's eyes settled on mine for a few heartbeats, but then he looked away to pick up his glass of wine. "I was married once. Been divorced for over years sixteen years exactly."

"You must've been married young. Or are you older than you look?"

He nodded. A few minutes ago, he'd seemed so relaxed, but his composure totally changed now. His jaw tightened, he avoided any and all eye contact, and his movements were rigid, as if all the muscles in his body had contracted all at once. 

"I'm thirty-five years-old, Rey. I got married when I was twenty-one."

Even though he looked completely uncomfortable discussing the subject, I pushed a bit more. "So you were only for a year, then?"

He gulped back his wine. "Almost, yes. A few months less."

"Were you high-school sweethearts or something?" 

"Sort of. Kira was one of my parent's foster kids for a while. Actually, she came and went a lot of the years."

Though he was answering my questions, he wasn't really offering too much information. I sipped my wine. "Can I ask what happened? Did you grow apart of something?"

Kylo was quiet for a moment and then looked me dead in the eyes. "No, Rey. She ruined my fucking life."

 _Okay then._ He spoke so sternly that it caught me off guard. I had no idea how to respond. Though Kylo took care of that for me. 

"Why don't we talk more about you, Rey? I'm trying to work my way up from drinks to a full-blown date here. Dragging out shit about my ex-wife isn't the way to make that happen."

"Okay, so what would you like to know?"

"I don't know. The game we plated in the car on the way home from the fundraiser worked pretty well. Tell me something that I don't know about you."

The mood had definitely dampened, and Kylo was right. We didn't need to drag all of our skeletons out of the closet the first evening we spent time together. So I said something I thought might tilt the mood back to a more playful zone. 

"Well, I love accents. Growing up, every time I heard a new one, I'd study it until I nailed it down. Actually, I still do it from time to time."

Kylo looked rather amused by this confession. "Okay, so let's hear Australian then." 

I sat up and cleared my throat. "Okay, let me think." I tapped my finger to my lip. "This is _turn on the air conditioner. It's hot in here. Chuck awn da egg ignisna. Iz hawt innere."_

Kylo laughed. "That's actually pretty good. How about American, since I already know what you sound like as a British?"

"Okay. Here is _I don't often use my cell-phone."_ I cleared my throat again. " _I don't OF-unh use me cell-phone."_

He chuckled. "Nice." 

"Your turn. Tell me something about you that I don't know." 

He looked closely at my lips. "Okay, fine. If we're going to play that game now....I want to devour your _fucking_ mouth." 

I swallowed hard. "I sort of knew that one already."

Kylo kept staring at my lips, and I squirmed. Yet he still didn't lean in and go for that damned kiss. The way he looked at me, I was about two seconds away from taking it upon myself to make the first move. But then he looked over my shoulder. 

"When did that happen?"

I blinked a few times. "What?"

He lifted his chin to point behind me. "That."

I turned. The sky was the most amazing shade of orange mixed with deep purple hues. "Oh mu God. That's incredible!"

I stood to take in the full view, and Kylo stood behind me. We were both silent as we watched the sky light up with color around the setting sun. He snaked a hand around my waist and rested his head on top of mine. 

"I know that you don't bring dates here, but do you do this often? Appreciate the view, I mean?"

"I do, actually. I make a point of taking a few minutes every day to watch either the sunset or the sunrise. I run on the beach in the morning and catch it, or if my day starts early, I make sure I'm back here before sunset."

I leaned my head back against Kylo's chest. "I really like this."

He squeezed me even closer. "Good. I like this, too."

Time just got away from us after that. We walked for hours, and before I knew it, it was almost midnight. I yawned.

"You're tired."

"Yeah. I get up at three-thirty."

"Do you want me to drive you home? I can pick you up to get your car in the morning."

I smiled. "No, I'm okay to drive still. But I really should get going."

Kylo nodded. "I'll walk you to your car then."

He helped me off the boart, and the gold-painted name on the back caught in the dock lights. Leilani. 

"So who is the boat named after?"

Kylo looked away. "No one."

For a businessman he wasn't a very good liar. But the evening had been so nice that I didn't want to ruin it by pressing on the subject anymore. We walked down the dock hand in hand, and when we got to my car, Kylo took the other one, too. He laced his fingers with mine.

"So did I pass your test? Do I get an actual date after tonight?"

I smirked up at him. "Maybe."

"Good, then I don't need to be on my best behavior anymore."

"What do you mean by that, Kylo?" I asked, nervously.

"I think you know, Rey."

Kylo let go of my hands and cupped my cheeks. He guided me to take a few steps, and before I realized what was happening, my back was up against my car and he'd planted his lips over mine. I gasped, and he didn't waste the opportunity to dip his tongue inside. His kiss was assertive, yet gentle at the same time. He tilted my head and groaned when the kiss deepened. His desperate sound turned me on almost as much as the feeling of his hard body pressed against mine. 

My purse fell to the gravel, and my hands wrapped around his back. When I dug my nails into him, he grabbed my ass and lifted me off my feet. 

We groped each other, my legs locked around his waist as he grinded against me. I could feel how hard he was even through our clothes. When the kiss finally broke, I struggled to catch my breath.

"W-Wow." I'd been kissed before, kiss really well, even, but no one had ever kissed the shit out of me. My mind was in a fog from it. 

He smiled and used his thumb to wipe my bottom lip. "God, I've wanted to do that so badly all night."

I gave him a goofy grin. "I'm glad you waited until we were in the parking lot to do it. Otherwise I might not have left."

Kylo pretended to bang his head against my car. "Fucking hell. Did you really have to tell me that now?"

I giggled. "Thank you for sharing your sunset with me. I had a really nice time."

"The sunrise is even better. You're more than welcomed to stay tonight and find out in the morning if you want?

I smiled. "Maybe another time, Kylo."

It took all my willpower to pull away from Kylo. I'd been teasing, but I was so turned on right now. I _was_ lucky he'd waited until now to kiss me like that. I brushed my lips with his one more time and then opened up the car door. He stood watching as I buckled up and turned the ignition. 

As I put the car into reverse to back out, I rolled down my window. "Goodnight, Kylo."

"How about dinner soon?"

I smiled. "Maybe. If you'd told me who the boat was named after, my answer would have been definitely yes."


	16. Chapter 16

_Eight years ago..._

The shower door opened and steam billowed out. I smiled, finding a naked Kira ready to join me. "Hey. Are you feeling better?"

Kira stepped inside the stall and shut the door behind her. She put both her palms on my chest. "Yeah. It must've been the flu or something."

 _The flu._ That's what she always called it. Kira seemed to get the flu more and more over the last year. Yet the days she spent circled up in bed never came with a cough or a fever. Kira was depressed. Of course, she had every single right to be. She'd dropped out of college because she hated the non-art classes, her mom had disappeared into the wind a year ago, taking her three-year-old brother, Ben, with her, and both of us had taken my mom's unexpected death a few months ago pretty hard.

But Kira's constant, bedridden bouts of depression seemed liked more than just regular depression. She would shut down for days on end every time her _flu_ hit. She didn't eat, didn't talk, didn't function as a person.

And even though she spent almost twenty-four-seven in bed, she rarely slept. She just stared, unfocused, lost in her own head. It really scared me. I didn't say it, but more and more lately, her highs and lows reminded me of her mom's---so much that I'd been pushing her to go see a therapist. That discussion always turned her depression into anger. Because to her, needing help meant she was like her mom.

Kira leaned in and pressed her body against mine. She shut her eyes and looked up at the streaming water as it rained down on her. A huge smile spread across her face, and I couldn't have stopped the one that broke out on mine if I'd tried.

When she didn't have the flu, she was so full of life and happiness, more than the average person. The happy times always made me forget about the sad ones...until it happened all over again a few months later. She pushed up on her tippy toes and pressed her lips to mine. 

The water from overheard streamed down over our joined lips. It tickled, and both of us started to laugh. "I've been thinking about something," he said.

I pushed the wet hair from her face and smiled. "I'm hoping it was you're thinking about bending over and hanging on to that wall behind you."

Kira giggled. "I'm serious here, Kylo."

I took hold of her hand and slid it down between us, down to my erection. "So am I. Can't you tell?"

She laughed even more. "I've been thinking about how much I love you, Kylo."

"Well, I like the sound of that. Do go on."

"And how much I love living down here with you."

My grandfather had given me a boat a few months ago on my twenty-first birthday---the very first boat he ever built. When Mom died, Kira and I decided to move into it and live down at the marina. It wasn't exactly a traditional home, but my girl wasn't exactly traditional either, and it made her extremely happy. Plus, we spent ever weekend sailing and exploring new places together. 

Since I'd started working for my family's company after graduating college a few months ago, we could pretty much afford to live wherever we wanted too. But this boat felt right for us the two of us. And it made Kira happy, most of the time.

"I love living down here with you, too."

"So what I was thinking was..." Kira looked down and went quiet all of a sudden.

I slipped two fingers under her chin and tilted her head up so our eyes met. "What's on your mind, Kira? Talk to me."

"Well, I was thinking....well...." She dropped down to her knees. 

Not in the direction I thought she was going, but that sure as shit worked for me. But then she looked up and took my hand and lifted from two knees to only one. My heart beat out of control, "I love you so much, Kylo." She smiled. "Will you....marry me?"

I quickly pulled her up from the floor. "Get up here. I should be the one down there, not you. I've actually been thinking about us a lot lately. And I would love to marry you."

Kira smiled. "But..."I said.

Her smile slowly wilted. I'd been thinking a lot about having this conversation, though I would have planned it a little better----so we weren't having it naked in this small-ass shower. But this life with Kira, unpredictable and always an adventure. I'd learned to roll with the punches because of her.

I cupped her cheeks. "I want to marry you more than anything. But you've been getting...the flu...a lot lately. And I really want you to talk to someone, go see a doctor." 

The look on Kira's face broke my heart. Any discussion of her needing professional help sliced straight through her. She abruptly turned, swung open the shower door, and ran out of the bathroom. 

"Kira! Wait!" I twisted the water off and jumped out of the shower. On my second step, I hitch a patch of water she'd left behind and my foot slipped out from under me. I landed flat on my ass. "Goddammit! Kira, wait! WAIT!"

But it was too late. While I climbed up from the floor, Kira just kept running. She was already up the stairs and outside the cabin before I could even grab a towel and follow her. I emerged on the back deck, still wrapping a towel around my waist as she jumped off the boat, buck-ass naked. 

"Kira!" She ignored me and took odd down the dock. When I caught her, I wrapped my arms around her from behind. "Stop! Stop running. We need to talk." Just then, an older couple came out from the cabin of their boat. Their eyes grew wide. I put my hand up and spoke to them. "Sorry. We're leaving. We were just....playing a little game, and it got out of control. Everything's fine."

Kira had run out upset and angry, but her mood shifted at the calamity we found ourselves in. She started to laugh. "Naked tag," she yelled to the gawking couple. "I guess I'm it now." 

Realizing what it might look like, that I was holding on to a naked woman who was trying to run away, I spoke to Kira. "Right, babe? Tell the nice couple everything is good." 

We started to crack up. I took the towel from around my waist and wrapped it around Kira's front to cover her up. I kept myself expressed tightly to her back so as to not fully expose myself as we turned back to our boat. I waved as we walked in tandem. "Sorry about that. You have a good day."

Once we were back on the boat, we laughed inside the cabin for a solid five minutes. This was my Kira. My wild, beautiful, adventurous girl who one minute made me panic and the next had tears of laughter running down my face. I plopped down on the couch and pulled her onto my lap, stripping her of the towel in the process. I took her face in my hands.

"I love you so much, my wild girl. I want to marry you. But I do think you need to see someone."

Kira frowned. "I'm not crazy like my mother, Kylo." 

"I know that, babe. But do it for me anyways, please?"

Kira thought about it, then nodded. "Fine. I'll go see whoever you want. Get me an appointment ready."

I smiled. "I didn't mean it had to be this very minute. But I'll look for someone in the meantime. Okay?"

"Then we can get married?"

I looked deep into her eyes. "I promise. But give me a little time to do this right." 

~*****~

Today was the fifteen year anniversary of the day we'd first met. I'd bought a beautiful diamond ring, made reservations at a fancy restaurant, and talked the owner of Kira's favorite art gallery into opening for us privately tonight so that I could propose to her. Everything was going perfect. 

It had been three weeks since Kira's own proposal to me, and a few days ago she'd gone to her first appointment with a therapist. Surprisingly, she'd come home and said that she liked the doctor a lot. Yet even though everything was perfect, my palms were sweating like a bitch as the gallery owner slipped out so that we could finally be alone.

"I can't believe you went and did all this just for me."

"Anything for my girl."

We walked around hand in hand, taking our time in front of each painting like Kira loved to do. The day I'd come into the gallery to talk to the owner, I'd walked around and looked at all of the artwork.

One in particular caught my eye and solidified that I'd made the right choice to propose. Two canvases away was a piece titled _Promises._ It was an abstract of a woman standing at the altar. Only the back of her wedding dress showed, but the focus of the piece was all the flower petals on a white runner along the church aisle.

While everything else was black and white, the flower petals were colorful and vibrant. The minute I'd seen it that day, it reminded me of Kira---she was those petals on the floor to me. I knew that it was the perfect spot to propose. I took a deep breath as we walked over in front of the painting. Kira's face lit up when she saw it. And just like always, I smiled seeing her smile.

While she admired the art, I bent down on one knees. She screech and covered her mouth when she noticed. 

"Yes!"

I chuckled. "I didn't even ask anything yet, babe."

She knew so we were both down on one knee. "Kylo."

"Yeah?"

"I have a surprise for you, too."

"Oh yeah? And what's that?"

"I'm pregnant." 


	17. Chapter 17

I'd taken to recording the morning news and watching it at my desk. I had a pile of work stacked up, a shitload of emails waiting for responses, and yet here I was, sitting at my desk on a Saturday watching yesterday's morning show for the second time that morning. Rey looked so damn good in emerald green. It really brought out the color in her eyes.

Though I didn't get a good look at the full dress because she was always behind that damn desk. Maybe I should suggest that the anchors get up at some point in the show, change things up a bit, you know?

 _Jesus Christ!_ Was this really what I was doing? Analyzing a woman's wardrobe choices to decide what outfit best complements her eyes even more? And debating calling down to the director of broadcasting to demand that the anchor stand be removed so that I can get a better look at her body? I needed to have my head fucking examined. Blowing out a stream of hot air, I forced myself to X out of the video recording. I had a tone of work to do. No. Shitloads of it.

Before Rey Kenobi, I couldn't have even told you the name of the station we owned, much less what anyone wore. To say the women had me distracted would be an understatement.

I picked up a file and started to go through a prospective investment that had been sitting on my desk since last week. But two pages into it, my phone buzzed, and though I'd normally ignore it while working, I quickly dug it out of my pocket.

**_9:30AM_ **

_Thank you for the flowers. I had a good time last night, too. Especially the end part up against the car._

She'd included a little winky face at the end of her text. Normally, people who used emojis in their texts pissed me the fuck off. Yet I found myself smiling at the little yellow face. I immediately texted her back.

**_9:31AM_ **

_Get dinner with me tonight?_

Send. I watched the tiny three dots appear on my phone, disappear and then reappear again. I never wanted to bite my fingernails more than I did in that moment. Waiting for a text message from a woman should not be leaving me in a state of panic, of worry, of uncertainty. The ball was in her court and she was toying with me and I really, _really_ hated it.

My mind was racing a million miles a minute of what ifs. Would she say no? But what if she said yes? Should I kiss her again or no? _What if, what if, what if?_ It was driving me fucking insane! Ding! Finally, a reply and not the one I was hoping for. 

**_9:33AM_ **

_Can't. I already have plans._

Since I had plans on Sunday, I texted her back suggesting that we do something next weekend, but she was busy then, too. An hour later, the text exchange was still bugging me to death. She has plans. 

Did she have a date? I'd had drinks with her once, so her having dinner with someone else wasn't exactly off limits. Yet the idea of her going out with another mystery man made me fucking crazy. I forced myself back to work and tried my damnest to ignore thoughts of her with some other guy tonight. But I re-read the same page three more times and still had no idea what the words even said. So I tossed the file aside and picked mu phone back up. 

**_9:35AM._ **

_Do your plans tonight involve a date?_

The little gray dots started to jump around and then stopped and started a few more times. Finally, she replied back.

_**9:36AM** _

_Would that upset you?_

Answering a question with another question was right up there next to how much I disliked emojis. This woman was screwing with me. And I didn't like to play games. I didn't have damn time for games. Which reminded me...I needed to get back to work. I tossed my phone to the side and dug back into the investment prospectus I had been trying to digest. But twenty minutes later, I had my goddamned phone in my hand again. 

I was completely distracted by just one simple, stupid text. I wasn't sure if I was angrier at myself for needing to know her plans or her for not answering my question.

**_9:37AM_ **

_Just answer the question._

Her response was immediate to my question. Fuck, I was all-but boiling at this point. I needed an answer and fuck I needed it now, otherwise my whole Saturday was going to be bent-hell out of shape. 

**_9:37AM_ **

_Boy, someone's awfully cranky this morning._

I took a deep breath, which did very little to help me relax. I felt like I was standing on the edge of a great precipice and her egging me on like this wasn't helping in the slightest. _Woman, I swear to God, if you keep on patronizing me like this..._

**_9:39AM_ **

_That would be because I'm still waiting for an answer to my question_

**_9:39AM_ **

_Is the muscle in your jaw flexing right now?_

I read her text and carefully looked up at the ceiling. This woman was going to be the death of me, I swear. And I was starting to get a headache from how hard I'd been clenching my teeth together. So she wasn't exactly wring about the muscles in my jaw clenching. If she were here right now, I'd have her bent over the edge of my desk and showing her exactly what her teasing was doing to me, that'll teach her, I thought to myself.

But instead, I go for the alternative and text her back, letting her feel some of my frustrations.

**_9:41AM_ **

_Rey....just answer the damn question, please._

My phone started to buzz for a call, rather than a text. Rey's named flashed on the front of the screen. I quickly swiped to answer.

"Why must you be so difficult?" I said in greeting.

Rey laughed, and the sound instantly softened the muscle in my jaw, along with my mood. "You're just too much fun to screw with, Kylo."

I leaned back in my chair. "Believe me, Miss Kenobi, I'm much more fun to _screw_ in bed. How about we just move on to that phase of the relationship instead if you making me fucking nuts?"

I could tell that she was still smiling when she spoke again. "I do have a date tonight, but you don't have anything to be worried about because he's married already?"

"Come again?"

She giggled. "I have a rehearsal dinner for my best friend Rose's wedding, which is next weekend. My partner in the wedding is her step-brother, who is married to a man. So technically, I gues he's my date tonight."

 _Great._ Now I'm jealous of a gay, married mam.....wonderful. 

"How about Sunday?" she said.

I decided to see if a turnabout was fair play. "Can't. I have a date."

Of course, that date was with my grandmother to play Santa Clause at the annual Padme Place party. She was quiet for a long moment and then said in a curt tone. "Well, if you have a date, you don't need a second one with me then."

I smiled. "You see how that feels, Rey? It's not a very pleasant feeling, is it? Especially not while I'm trying to get some works done. My date tomorrow, if you must know is with my grandmother, Padme."

"Oh."

"How about next weekend, then?" I said. I really didn't want to wait that long to see her. 

Rey sighed. "Next weekend is the wedding. Rose and I are going to spend the last night in our apartment together Friday and then Saturday is the wedding and Sunday is brunch with the wedding party. I don't usually go out on weeknights because I get up so early for work. But maybe we can have an early dinner or something one night?"

"I'm leaving Monday for a business trip to the east coast. I'll be gone until Thursday morning."

"Oh." At least she sounded as disappointed as I felt. "Well, maybe the the weekend after that, then. Or maybe...would it be too weird if I asked you to come with me to the rehearsal dinner tonight? Spouses are coming that aren't in the wedding. So it's not just the wedding party."

I'd been thinking of our date as being a nice quiet evening with just the two of us, not a night with all of her friends at some wedding rehearsal. But waiting two weeks to see her again was not an option. So I'd have to take what I could get.

"What time should I pick you up?"

"Really? You'll come with me?"

"Apparently that's the only way I'm going to get to see you, so yes. But, full disclosure, I'm only coming tonight because I simply can't wait to push you up against the car again and suck on your face."

She laughed. "That seems fair. How about six-thirty? The rehearsal is at even and dinner right after that. They're getting married at the restaurant, so the rehearsal part won't take very long."

"I'll be there at exactly six-fifteen. Because I won't be waiting until _after_ dinner for my kiss." 

~*****~

That evening, my heart started to pump at an almost alarming speed the minute she opened the door. Rey's hair was pulled back from her face and pinned up. She had on another green outfit; this one a slightly lighter shade of green with a wide, scooped neck that exposed her collarbone. It showed a hint of cleavage, which was sexy as hell, but something about that collarbone made me salivate.

I'd teased her on the phone about picking her up early because I intended to get round two of the kiss, but I hadn't planned on mauling her the minute she opened the door. Though you know the old saying about the best laid plans....

Rey smiled and said hello, stepping aside for me to enter, though I only made it halfway through. Backing her up against the open apartment door, I wrapped my hands around her cheeks and planted my lips over hers. She hadn't been expecting it, but it didn't take long for her to join in. She dug her hands into my hair and yanked, and I sucked on her sweet tongue. Reaching down, I cupped the back of her thigh and lifted so I could move even closer.

Before I knew it, her legs were wrapped around my waist, and I was grinding a growing erection between her legs. If I'd like her a little less, I would have dropped to my knees and buried my face between her legs for taste right there against the door. 

But Rey deserved more respect than that. So, begrudgingly, I pulled from the kiss. She blinked a few times, and it made me smile that she seemed as lost in the moment as I had been.

"Jeez, that was just as good as the first time."

I lifted my thumb to her mouth and wiped some of her smeared lipstick from beneath her bottom lip. "I haven't been able to focus on anything but this mouth since you pulled out of the parking lot last night."

She smiled. "I just love how honest you are around me."

I brushed my lips against hers again and spoke with them touching. "If you like my brutal honesty, there're plenty of other things I'd be happy to tell you about----all the things that I'd like to do to you."

She giggled and gave me a playful tone. "Why don't you come in so I can shut the door? I've already been fired once already for indecent exposure. I wouldn't want it to happen for a second time."

"Trust me, Rey. If you'd like to prance around naked right now in front of me, you most certainly won't be fired for it."

The inside of her apartment was filled with boxes. She pointed to an empty spot on the couch and said, "Take a seat wherever you can find one. I just need to grab my purse and freshen up my lipstick now that you're literally wearing half of it."

I wiped my lips with my thumb. "Take your time." 

While Rey disappeared down the hall, I looked around the apartment a bit. There were a few framed photos on the bookshelf, two of her and another woman---who I assumed might be her roommate---one of Rey, who looked to be about seven or eight with what I guessed was her mother, and another one of her taken recently with an older woman. 

"That's my Aunt Mara-Jade. My mom's sister. She raised me after my mother died. She's a second mother me. Three months ago she moved down to Florida. It's odd not having her close anymore."

"You two remained close?"

She nodded. "She has macular degeneration so she's slowly losing her eyesight. She went to live with her daughter in Sanibel Island. Janice is twelve years older than me. She'd already moved out when her mom took me in when I was about ten. But we're close. We text every few days. I'm going down to visit her next month."

"I was five when I moved in with my mother."

"Do you mind if I ask what happened that you wound up in foster care?"

It wasn't something that I spoke about often, but Rey had been so open about her family history with me. "My mother was only fifteen years old when I was born. My father isn't named on my birth certificate and was never in the picture. She had a tough home life of her own, and we bounced around from place to place. Eventually, she got into drugs, and we were living in homeless shelters. One night she snuck out and never came back for me. I haven't seen her since."

Rey's hand covered her heart. "Oh, God. I'm so sorry, Kylo."

I slowly put down the framed photo. "Don't be. I was very lucky. The first family I was placed with was my parents. I was never bounced around like a lot of kids. I had a really good childhood. Leia was the best mom in the world. My Dad worked a lot, but he was great, too. They're who I consider my _real_ parents."

Rey smiled sadly. "Yeah. I sort of feel the same way. Even though I have nice memories of my mom. I feel like Mara-Jade was my parent. Come with me. I want to show you something."

I followed her into her bedroom, and she pointed to a sign over her bed. _No rain. No flowers._

"A lot of my mom's death and everything that happened around that time is a blur for me. But I remember the priest coming to talk to me after her funeral and saying these words when I was crying. Somehow they've stuck with me over the years. Seems appropriate for you history, too."

I looked into her eyes. Fuck me. This woman was something else. I was standing ten feet away from her bed, and all I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms. The fact that I didn't want to bend her over the bed and fuck her sort of freaked me out a little.

I blinked a few times and looked away. "It's a really beautiful saying."

Rey grabbed a sweater from her closet and a purse from her dresser. "You ready to meet my friends now?"

"I'd prefer to have you all to myself, but I'm ready to head out, if that's what you're asking."

She smiled and took my hands. "You want to know a secret?"

"What's that?"

"I'm a little afraid to be all alone with you. That's honestly one of the main reasons I insisted on drinks rather than a full date."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess I sort of don't trust myself with you. You make me...nervous. Not in a bad way, if that makes any sense."

I took one of our joined hands and brought it up to my lips to kiss her knuckles. "It makes a lot of sense. Perfect sense, in fact. You know why?"

"No. Why?"

"Because you care the living shit out of me, too. So there. I guess that makes us even." 


	18. Chapter 18

"There you are."

Kylo had disappeared at some point during the rehearsal. The pastor had stayed after the practice was over, and he'd talked for so long that I couldn't get away to look for my date until now.

"Sorry. I got a work call and had to take it, so I stepped out for just a moment."

Kylo looked away as he spoke. I hadn't known him long enough to really read him, yet it wasn't the first time that I'd gotten the distinct feeling that he was full of shit. Again, I let it pass.

"Oh. Okay. I lost track of you during the rehearsal. Dinner is about to be served." 

Kylo just nodded, but said nothing else. This troubled me...a lot. Something was definitely wrong. 

"Is everything okay? You see quiet all of a sudden."

"Of course. Just got a little distracted there for a moment, is all. Don't worry about me, I'm fine."

His eyes still didn't meet mine. Maybe I was reading too much into things. Even if he hadn't stepped out to take a quick phone call, and just needed some fresh air, it didn't really matter. 

I smiled. "I'm guessing a wedding rehearsal where you meet all of my friends at once isn't exactly what you had in mind when you asked me for a second ate."

Kylo then wrapped an arm around my waist. "No, it wasn't. But I'll take whatever I can get, however I can get it."

I lifted my arms up and around his neck. "I never would have thought it, but you're such a good sport. I'll have to make it up to you later." 

Kylo's eyes darkened. "I kind of like the sound of that. I'll hold you to it." He leaned in and brushed his lips with mine.

Our private moment was immediately interrupted by the sound of my best friend's voice. "Get a fucking room already, jeez."

I smiled and introduced Kylo to the soon-to-be bride. "Kylo, this is my best friend in the whole world, Bridezilla. Formally known as Rose."

Kylo and I separated, and he extended his hand. But Rose wasn't having any of that. She went in for a hug instead. "It's finally nice to meet you after all this time, boss-man."

He chuckled, "You, too."

She hooked her arm with his and started to walk toward the door. "Come on. I'll introduced you to everyone and tell you all their secrets so you don't feel like a total outsider."

Kylo just laughed, assuming she was kidding, but I knew better. Inside, Rose introduced Kylo to two dozen people, at least, and when dinner started, she sat down with us instead of Hux, her husband-to-be, who was seated at the other end of the long table.

She ate a piece of her salmon and pointed her fork in the direction of her older sister, Paige. "Totally just had her boobs done."

Kylo looked over. His eyes dropped brietly to her enormous boobs, and then he turned back with a chuckle. "Not sure that's really a secret too too many people in this room." 

He was absolutely right by the way. Paige's implants were each almost as big as my head, and her chin practically rested on them, they sat so high. 

"True." Rose nodded down to the end of the table to the woman sitting across from Hux. "That's Miranda, my soon-to-be sister-in-law--the blonde on my side--sleeps with a teddy bear." She lifted her chin to the table across from us where her dad and his wife were sitting with Hux's parents. "My stepmother, Eleanor, has a stack of love letters from an old boyfriend she keeps hidden up in the attic."

Kylo raised his brows. "You seem to have something on everyone here."

Rose continued around the room, telling funny secrets about almost everyone. When she seemed to be done, Kylo looked at me, while speaking to her.

"You forgot someone."

Rose bit her lip, like she was considering her options, and leaned over to Kylo. "She has porn inside the old Disney DVDs in the living room cabinet. She thinks that I don't know about it."

"ROSE!" My eyes went wide, and I felt my face start to blush. 

I _hadn't_ realized she knew about that. But the three of us just laughed. Of course, the pastor picked that very moment to walk over to our table. He put his hand on Rose's shoulder and smiled. "I'm very sorry to interrupt. You three look like you're having a good time. I just wanted to say goodnight to the bride-to-be."

Rose told the pastor she'd walk him out, and after he started to walk away, she leaned back to us and whispered. "I'll be back with his secret in ten minutes tops."

Kylo chuckled. "I really like your friend."

"She's crazy, but I'm definitely going to miss her. I've actually never lived alone before. I went straight from my parents house, to my aunts, to a roommate at college, and then to sharing an apartment with Rose."

"Will you get another roommate?"

"I had an ad on Craigslist. I've narrowed it down to two men."

"Men?"

"Yes. Jacque is a French underwear model living in the States for a year, and Marco is a fireman." The look on Kylo's face was so serious, I couldn't keep it going any longer. I immediately started to crack up. "I'm only teasing. You should see your face, though."

He narrowed his eyes. "Cute. Very cute."

"I'm actually really excited to live on my own. I told you I'm building a house. It's not much, but I love the area. It's a new development. The whole community is build around a big, beautiful lake---though my plot isn't lakefront because those parcels were almost four times the price. But I love how woodsy they're keeping it and how far apart the houses are going to be. It feels like a serene vacation place. When I first bought the land, I had an architect do the blueprints for my dream house. Then I had some estimates done on building it, and I realized I'd dreamed a little too big, and needed to scale back some. So it's much smaller now, but I can't wait until it's done. It's about sixty-percent there."

He smiled. "That's great. I'd really love to see it."

"I like to drive over to the property every once in a while and check it out. Maybe next time you can take a ride with me, and I'll show you the lake and give you a tour of my half-built house."

"I'd really like that, Rey." 

~*****~

Two hours later, Kylo drove me home and parked in front of my apartment building. 

"Thank you so much for coming with me tonight, "I told him. "I know it wasn't an ideal date, but I enjoyed it anyway." 

"I did, too."

I definitely wasn't ready for him to leave just yet. "Do you want to come in?"

Kylo looked me in the eyes. "You have no idea how much I do."

I smiled, but as we got out of the car and made our way up the elevator, I suddenly became extremely anxious. When I went to put the key in the lock, Kylo noticed my hand was shaking.

"Are you cold?"

I shook my head. "Just nervous, I guess. I'm just...I'm really attracted to you, Kylo, and I really like you, but I'm just not ready to....have you spend the night just yet. I just don't want you to get the wrong idea because I invited you in." 

Kylo turned me around and put two fingers under my chin, lifting so I looked him in the eyes. "The choice is always yours, Rey. I want you to know that. We can take it as slow as you want, okay? There's need to rush this thing between us. We got time."

My shoulders relaxed, and I exhaled. "Thank you."

I felt much calmer after that. Inside, I went to my room to change and left Kylo opening a bottle of wine. When I came back out, he was standing in the living room with a glass of wine in one hand and _Beauty and the Beast_ in the other. 

He arched a brow. "Holy shit. She wasn't joking, was she?"

I felt the heat on my face and snatched the box from his hand. "I went through a dry spell, okay? And don't tell me that you've never watched porn before."

He grinned like a doofus in that moment. "Of course I have. I just don't make it a habit to store mine in Disney DVDs. Probably a good thing you don't have little ones running around asking you odd questions about their favorite Disney characters."

I laughed, took the wine out of his hand, and guzzled half of it in one gulp. As long as we were on the subject, I figured I might as well see what types of things he liked to watch. Lord knows, I'd found I had a bit of fetish. 

"Is your collection specific to any type of porn?"

Kylo squinted. "Are you seriously asking me if I like to role play or have any secret fetishes of my own?"

"I guess. I just found certain things worked better for me, while others didn't."

He took the wine glass from my hand and drank the other half. "I'm not particular. But now I'm desperate to know what sort of things that you're into."

I let out a nervous laugh and took the empty glass from his hand. "I'm afraid that I need a bit more wine for this type of conversation." After I refilled, I led Kylo over to the couch. "Can you just pretend that you didn't open that _Beauty and the Beast_ DVD just now?

Kylo shook his head with a wicked grin as he lifted my feet onto his lap. He began rubbing. "Not a chance in hell, sweetheart. Spill it. Tell me, what's your kink?"

"It's not really a kink."

"So let's hear it. Or do I need to unveil your full Disney collection and figure it out for myself right now?"

I drank a little more liquid courage. "I found that I sort of like videos where the woman is pleasuring the man."

Kylo immediately stopped rubbing. "So you like to watch a woman give a guy....head?"

It was the new millennium. I shouldn't embarrassed by anything that empowered me sexually, yet I bit my lip and just nodded. 

"Jesus Christ," Kylo grumbled. "You're fucking perfect. How the hell did you ever have a dry spell?"

I laughed. "My dry spell was self imposed, thank you very much. I have a pattern. I pick an asshole to date. Then I blame it on the entire sex and take a very long-ass hiatus."

"Well you're sitting here with me. Does that mean that I'm an asshole, too?"

I sipped on my drink. "I don't know, Kylo. Are you?"

His playful smile wilted. "I can be at times. But I don't want to be, at least not to you anyways." 

"It doesn't same Sigmund Freud to figure out where my issues come from. I have some serious trust issues, Kylo. My dad used to accuse my mom of cheating all the time. I'll never know if there was any truth to his accusations or not. I like to believe there wasn't, and that he was just being irrational and unstable. But that's what they always fought about, and were fighting about the night he ended her life. When he panicked and took off, he left my handcuffed to a radiator where no one found me for two days. And yet I still have a tendency to be attracted to dominating, asshole men."

"And you see me as one of those type of men?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Though I never see it at first. I like confident men---ones who are assertive and exdude a certain kind of energy about themselves. You definietley fit that bill. But in my experience, the men with the take-charge personality I find so attractive about don't necessarily make the best partners. The last guy that I dated was really controlling. He didn't like me hanging out with my friends, and when I did, he'd check up on me. When I told him to back off, he had a way of making me feel guilty for wanting my own space."

Kylo took my hand. "I'm sorry. We all have past relationships that carry into how we deal with things in the future."

"You know how I finally decided it was time to get rid of Cal, my ex?"

"How?"

"Without even realizing it, I'd started to click my pen."

"And that means...."

"Cal had a pet peeve. He _hated_ when anyone clicked their pens."

Kylo squinted. "You said Dameron hated foot tapping and heavy perfume and you used to do those things to secretly annoy him."

I smiled. "Bingo. I was unconsciously doing all these things to annoy him. That's not a sign that screams stable relationship. So I broke things off with him."

"I'll have to remember that. When you type at me in all caps, I'll know what it means."

I laughed. "Is that your pet peeve? Not sure you should have really shared that bit of information with me."

Kylo smiled. "You have a wicked side, Kenobi. I like that."

I felt like I'd shared a lot of my past, yet I didn't know too much about his. At least not the important stuff, anyways. I knew he was adopted from foster care, but I got the feeling his baggage didn't come from that.

"Can I ask what happened between you and your ex-wife?"

Kylo's jaw flexed. He looked away for a minute and then stared down when he finally started to speak. "Kira had a very similar background to me---an unstable mother with no father in the picture. Except her mother was mentally ill, not an addict like mine was. When we first met, I was insanely attracted to her because of how different she was than everyone else around me. I didn't know back then that mental illness was hereditary. I just thought that she was spontaneous and wild and free. And for a very long time, she was. But slowly, over time, the highs she ran on started to spiral into major lows. There was no middle ground with her." 

I'd learned a lot about mental disorders over the years. A part of me always wanted to believe there was something wrong with my father. I wanted to blame what he'd done on _anything_ but him, because it would be easier to accept that he'd killed my mother if it wasn't his fault. 

So I knew bipolar disorder and other depression-related illnesses often started in a person's twenties. "I'm sorry. That's tough."

Kylo was quiet for a moment, and then looked up at me. "Thank you. Like you said, it doesn't take Freud to figure out why I haven't had many healthy relationships with women since then. I didn't lie to you. I made a point making sure that they understood that I wasn't looking for love. I guess we both have trust issues of our own."

I nodded. "I really appreciate your honesty. But is that what you want from me, too? I'm incredibly attracted to you and I might be okay with a sex-only relationship if that's all you truly wanted from me. Thought I could also see myself falling in love with you too, Kylo. So I'd really appreciate you bring up front about what it is that you're looking for."

He tugged my hand and guided me to move from sitting next to him to sitting on his lap. He cradled my face between his hands and spoke into my eyes. "I want more with you, Rey. But I'm not even sure what I'm capable of. I won't promise you something that I'm uncertain I can deliver. Yet I'd really like to try to make this work."

His words weighed heavy on my chest. It made me sad for him that he seemed to think he was incapable of love.

I forced a smile. "Thank you for your honesty. I guess every relationship has a risk to it. So we'll just take it one day at a time and see where it goes from there."

Kylo nodded, though he didn't seem too sure of himself. 

"How did we get talking from porn to our incredibly fucked-up lives?" I asked.

He smiled. "I don't know, but I'd definitely prefer to go back to talking about how you liked to watch a woman give head."

I play-smacked his chest. "Of course you would, you horn-dog."

Kylo crooked his finger at me. "Come here."

I'd been sitting on his lap and now lifted on leg to straddle him. Settling, I moved my face close enough that our noses were touching. "Where? Here?"

He gripped the back of my neck and spoke with his lips pressed to mine. "Right here. Exactly right here." 

We made out like two horny teenagers after that. When our kiss broke, he tugged my hair to expose my throat and buried his face in my neck. He kissed and licked and bit his way up to my ear.

"Tell me, Rey. Is it just women you like to see give oral? Because I can't wait to bury my face between your legs and have you watch me lick that pretty cunt of yours." 

"Oh, God." I loved the sound of that. 

My body was already on fire from this kiss, and I could feel his erection pushing against my swollen clit. I might only have to move back and forth a few times to get myself off if he kept talking like that in my ear. I was this close to doing just that...until a female voice interrupted the moment.

"Well, this looks way better than the one I watched in _Aladdin_. Think I'll make myself some popcorn." 

I jumped at the sound of Rose's voice. Literally, I jumped off Kylo's lap, into the air, and landed on my ass on the floor. I rubbed my backside. "Jesus, Rose. You scared the crap out of me." 

She chuckled. "I wasn't quiet when I came in. You two were just too engrossed in what you were doing." She waved her hand at us. "Carry on. Pretend I'm not even here. I'm going to bed, anyway. Have fun you two. Oh, if you could, try to keep the moans to a minimum level, please?"

Kylo extended a hand and helped me up from the floor. "I just assumed that you were sleeping over at Hux's," I said.

"Nah. I'm making him stay celibate for the two weeks before our wedding."

I laughed. "Poor Hux. A bridezilla that won't put out."

Rose stuck her tongue out at me. "Goodnight, lovebirds." 

Once she was gone, I sat back down on the couch next to Kylo. "I'm really sorry about that."

"It's fine. Probably a good thing she walked in. You want to take it slow, and between the way you looked tonight in that dress, knowing you have a porn collection, and that kiss, I wouldn't be able to control myself that much longer. I think that was my cue to get going."

I wanted to tell him to stay in the worst way, tell him to come back to my room with me and I'd show him all the techniques I'd picked up from watching all those porn videos. But he was right, of course. If things didn't slow down, I would be the one to get hurt. That much I knew.

So I nodded. "Okay. Thank you again for coming with me tonight. I owe you. So would....you be my date to the wedding next Saturday night?"

He leaned over and planted a kiss on my lips. "I'd love that."

I walked him to the door and opened it, but stalled at saying goodbye. "Where is your trip next week?"

"I told you. The east coast."

"Okay. Well, text me if you have any free time available."

His eyes roamed my face. "I'll make time."

My stomach did a little somersault. The oddest things gave me that warm, mushy feeling. Kylo kissed me goodnight, and I smiled and shut the door. But a few seconds later, there was a knock again. Just like last time, I figured he'd forgotten something.

"Miss me already?" I asked.

"If you're free tomorrow afternoon, there's a party at Leia's Place."

"Oh? Your mom's charity?"

"Yeah. The main office is over in Glendale. They host a few parties a year for the kids and their Bigs. Tomorrow is Christmas in July. It's a holiday-themed carnival. My grandmother suckered me into working it, but I just found out I should be finished about two."

I smiled. "That sounds great."

Kylo nodded. "I'll text you the address."

After I shut the door again, I thought about the evening. One part stuck out. I'd told him I could see myself easily falling in love with him. Which was sort of a lie on my part. Because I already was. 


	19. Chapter 19

I hadn't expected a party this big. I'm not sure why, but I'd envisioned a few dozen people, a makeshift petting zoo, and a cotton candy machine. But there were hundreds of people milling around, a pretty big Ferris wheel, street-style vendor carts all over the place, and Christmas-themed performers. I walked around for a while and checked things out, but Kylo was nowhere in sight. A woman approached me holding literature.

She smiled. "Are you a Big? I don't think we've met yet."

"Oh no. I'm not part of the program."

She held out a pamphlet. "I'm Larma D'Acy, the director here at Leia's Place."

"Hi. I'm Rey. I'm actually meeting someone here."

"Oh, okay. Well, it's a great program. Can't hurt to check out the information. I think you'd find it very rewarding."

I took the pamphlet. "Thank you so much."

"My number is on the back, if you have any questions. Have a great afternoon. Enjoy the carnival, dear." 

She started to walk away, but I stopped her. "Larma, is there any chance that you might know Kylo Ren?"

"Of course I do, dear."

"Have you seen him around by any chance? I'm supposed to meet him here after two, but I can't seem to find him anywhere."

Larma smiled. "He got started late." She looked over her shoulder a moment. "But it looks like he'll be finishing up soon. The line is getting smaller."

My brows furrowed. "Line?"

She pointed. "Yeah, for Santa Claus."

I looked over at the area I'd passed by twice and squinted, examining the people. Taking a long look at Santa Claus, my eyes widened. "Oh my God. Is that..."

Larma laughed. "Only this grandmother could get him into that getup. His grandfather has played the part for the last twenty-years. I guess they're passing the baton over to him now."

After Larma walked way, I stood watching from a distance. The man was certainly an enigma. He wore custom-tailored suits, made everyone sit up a little taller when he walked into a meeting, and had an abrupt, standoffish way about him. Yet here he was on a Sunday afternoon, wearing a Santa suit and lifting kid after kid onto his lap. The more I watched, the bigger my smile grew. 

Especially when they put a little girl on his lap---one about two or three years-old---and she immediately started to cry. I actually chuckled to myself and watched how he handled it.

He tried in earnest to get her to clam down, even lowering his beard so she could see there was a man underneath, but the little girl wasn't having any of it. The look on Kylo's face was pure stress until an elf finally helped him out. As I continued to watch, the line whittled down to only four kids, so I decided to join it.

Kylo shook his head and laughed when he saw me waiting behind a five year old. Our eyes caught a few times as each kid ahead of me took their turn. I couldn't seem to get the smile off my face. The entire scene was just so amusing. When the other kids were done, I walked up and plopped my ass down on dear old Santa's lap. I wrapped one arm around his neck and patted his stuffed belly.

"Big lunch?"

"I was supposed to be done with this shit before you even got here."

I gave a little tug to his beard. "I don't know. I kind of like it. You can really pull off white hair. I bet you'll look hot when you get a little salt and pepper going in this mane of yours."

"Glad you think so, because some of the kids gave me a head start and gave me a few grays today."

I chuckled. "I saw a little girl in the pink dress. She wasn't exactly a fan."

"I was doing just dine at the beginning because I had a bag of candy next to me. When the damn thing ran out, I had nothing to bribe them with."

"You must be awfully hot in that monkey-suit."

"I am. I should go get changed before any other little monsters get in my line." 

I smiled and wrapped my other arm around his neck. "Hold on, don't I get to tell Santa Claus what I want for Christmas?"

"He already knows. More Disney DVDs."

I laughed and went to get up, but Santa held me firmly in place. "So, let's hear it. What do you want for Christmas little girl?"

"Hmmm." I tapped my finger to my lip. "Whatever package Santa Claus wants to give me. I mean, I think I've been a pretty good girl this year."

"Oh, Santa Clause wants to give you his big package, the one he keeps tucked away in his big, giant red sack---I mean, pants, all right. And you have been a _very_ good girl this year. Anything else?"

I'd been feeling kind of down before I got here today because of something that came in yesterday's mail. "How about a zoning variance?"

"Zoning variance?"

I sighed. "Yeah. I opened my mail this morning, and I had something come from the City. The issued me a stop work order on my construction for my house. Apparently an inspector came and realized the constructor built my garage a foot too close to the road, and now I need zoning variance approval to keep it. Or I need to get rid of the garage. I called the architect to see what it would take to get the approval, and he said we should get it without a problem. But the City is backed up, and it will be a few months before we could get the required hearing. Oh, and I had a fight with the contractor over it, and he quit on me."

"That sucks. What will you do now?"

"I don't know. I need to think about it." I stood. "But let's go get you changed first. I can feel the heat radiating off your body." 

Kylo nodded and led me over tot he main building. He waited until we were inside to take off the hat and beard. "I could really use a shower, but I'll have to settle for a change of clothes for now."

We navigated though the building until we came to an office. Kylo took keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. Inside the large space was a duffel bag on his desk. He unzipped it and pulled out some clothes, then started to take off the Santa suit. I leaned against the desk and watched him unbutton the red jacket. 

"I met someone named Larma who was giving out literature on the program. She said this was your first time playing Santa."

Kylo peeled off the jacket and tossed it on the desk, then started to step out of the red wool pants. He shook his head. "My grandmother may look like a sweet, old lady, but negotiating with her is impossible." 

He tossed the pants on top of the jacket. Underneath he wore a pair of gray pants and a white T-shirt. Thinking nothing of it, he grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged it up and over his head. 

"I think it's really sweet of you..." I stopped-mid sentence as my jaw dropped. Holy crap!

I'd felt his arms and chest, so I knew that he was physically fit, but my Lord, the man was ripped. His abs were all carved muscles, and he had an eight-pack without even flexing. 

"Seriously?!" I gaped. "It's like your fucking photoshopped or something! But please....do you have a shirt or something you could put on?"

Kylo looked over and found me staring at him with a gaping mouth. Completely oblivious, he looked down to see what I could be gawking at. It seemed like he expected to find something wrong with him, as if he needed a big welt or something on his chest to make a person stop and stare at him. Confused at finding nothing, he looked up at me for an explanation. 

I pointed to his broad chest. "Okay....um....that's just not fair, if you're just gonna stand there.....and....and holy fucking shit!"

His brows lifted, and he chuckled. "Are you saying you like what you see, Rey?"

Was he joking right now? I wanted to _lick_ what I saw. "You're....just so beautiful all over. It's not even fair."

He's gotten a clean black T-shirt from his duffel bag, but he tossed it to the ground and walked over to me. Bare-chested, he put one hand on either side of the desk I leaned against and looked me up and down.

"You know, I'm really glad you feel that way, because the feeling is completely mutual." 

Kylo wrapped a hand around the back of my neck, using it to bring my lips to meet his. He kissed me passionately, his warm, hard chest pressed up against my soft. Things were really starting to heat up when the door behind him abruptly swung open. 

"What in the hell?" a voice said. 

Kylo stopped the kiss, but stayed put and shut his eyes while shaking his head. "Shut the door, Ben."

"So? Who's the girl?"

"BEN!" he raised his voice. "Shut the door. We'll be right out."

I looked around Kylo at the boy who seemed no more than elven or twelve years-old. He waved, flaunting an ear-to-ear grin. "She's way too pretty for your ugly ass."

Kylo's head dropped, and he chuckled. "Get out, Ben. And watch your language."

The door slammed shut, and I looked to Kylo. "He could have come in. I wouldn't have minded." Kylo then looked down, and my eyes followed to find a bulge in his sweatpants. I covered my mouth and giggled. "Oh my. Yeah, I guess that was a pretty good call."

He grabbed his black T-shirt and pulled it on. "Ben's my Little. But sometimes he can more of a little pain in my ass." 


End file.
